Five Elements

I've worked out that I have five elements of my life - family, friends, study, work and love - and of late, only one of those elements is really making me happy. It's also probably the last one you would expect.

(5) Family
Families are supposed to be supportive towards your decisions in life, right?
Not mine.
My family always seems to question my choices.

(4) Love
My love life sis currently non-existent so there's not much to comment here but I'm not bitter about it. I've said this before and I'll say it again: I don't mind being single.
And I get that friends wanna set me up in hopes that I'll (eventually) be as happy as they are but we all have our own definition of happiness.
We all have different things in our life that makes us estatic and feel complete bliss.
That's why no two people are exactly the same.

(3) Work
Well if you're a regular reader of my blog (first off, thank you! hehe), you should know how I feel about work. But seriously though, with all the 'talking' that goes on, I don't know why people stay.
I don't even know why I'm still here.
I used to have reasons why I stuck around but now, even those reasons are fading away.

There was a toss-up between the last two elements. Both are what I love and hold close to my heart. But there was one that slightly held the upper hand in terms of my 'happy' levels, especially within the past couple of weeks.

(2) Friends
This is not directed to all my friends.
I just feel a bit out of the loop with some of them and it's not a great feeling...
To not know what is going on around you but have everyone else aware is a bit scary.
It's like I'm living in a bubble and I have no idea...
It's kinda sad when I really think about it. Sometimes it makes me feel like I'm the outsider looking in - even when I'm in the midst of it all.

And finally,
(1) Study
I told you it was the least expected one but honestly it's the only thing that's really providing a positive light into my life at the moment.
Knowing that I went out of my way to go out, research and apply for the course without asking for help or advice from others was good for me.
Doing something on just my own terms gave me a (thin) layer of confidence and was somewhat rewarding.

In the past, I've always let the voices of others influence my final decisions, but this time, I did this all on my own and initially (after I enrolled) I didn't even tell anyone that I'd done it - gone and taken that big step! Not until maybe a few weeks later, I slowly started revealing my (future) plans.

Even now, not all of my friends and family know. And coming from a highly competitive (academic-wise) and judgemental family (mainly the extended), I thought it was best to only tell my immediate...

It took me a while but I'm glad I finally realised what I wanted to do.
Through all the ups and downs, the fails and passes, I realise now they don't really matter anymore coz I didn't go about living my life based on those events.
I finally know what makes me happy and how I can incorporate what with how and hopefully achieve that complete sense of pure bliss. :0)

**A change is coming. **

Peace.
chauie
'Some people say that I'm not worth it. I've made mistakes but nobody's perfect. Guess I'll give it a try.' - One Last Chance, James Morrison