My Heart On A Plate

Every Sunday, without a doubt, you'll find me in my bed, reading up and catching up on all my favourite blogs. Listening to the latest music, reading the newest reviews and discovering what my friends (and whoever else I've added to my favourites) have been getting up to during the week.

More often than not, I will end the weekend with a bunch of new music in my iTunes. And I would have come across something inspirational. Something that inspired me to speak the truth. Something that left me with a smile on my face or a tear in my eye.

Today I experienced just that.
Listening to the new music I acquired, I thought I'd share some deep, raw and honest thoughts with you right now:

Little bits of my heart have been broken over the past 23 years of my life. Not always because of love or my (false) idea of love. Sometimes because of betrayal through friendships. Other times the cause has been the broken trust between myself and someone I know. The emotion you feel when you hear someone talking about you or someone you know and care for when you're standing right there like it doesn't matter. Like you're invisible. The tears that fall down from my eyes and roll down my cheeks when I hear something that causes pain to my ears, my mind and my already fragile heart.


My heart has been broken so many times before. I feel stupid for allowing myself to give it away so easily. To let people break down my walls and touch my heart. At the time it just felt right. But most times I found out the hard way that it just wasn't the right thing to do. It wasn't the right person I should have opened up and shared my heart with.


After all the shit I went through during high-school, I wish I was a stronger person because of it. Learning from my mistakes and all that. Lately, I've been running into one of the girls who caused my final years of high-school a living hell and if I wasn't so self-conscious, I would have walked up and slapped her in the face already. At least that's how I imagined it would be. She wasn'the main cause of my pessimistic attitude after high-school but she was a supporter of the main girl who bullied her way through our senior years to cause me endless pain - more emotional than physical.


I don't cry about it so much now as I used to when I would tell friends what I'd been through. But seeing her lately (even at a distance) has just really made me feel really uneasy. 

How can anyone go on living life so carefree knowing that they've treated someone else like shit? 

High-school was all about the drama and trying to make ourselves more liked by everyone around us but now, we're almost reaching our mid-20s and although I still despise those girls and the things they did, I just want to move on - completely - and live an independent life - free of all things that bring me down. 

Here's a couple of quotes that had me wanting to write the above today.
I'm out.
x

'I heard your voice through a photograph. I thought it up, it brought up the past. Once you know you can never go back' - Otherside, Red Hot Chili Peppers

Easier Said Than Done

Men
When you think something good is going on
When something seems like a sure thing
They turn around and treat you like shit
And that's what I don't get.
Why?

Two nights ago was the EOFY party at work and although the party at work was shit, it was the numerous places we went afterwards that made the night interesting, fun and memorable - in good and bad ways.

I don't know what happened.
We were flirting all night... He asked me to come along with to where he and everyone else was going and of course I obliged.. I thought things would go further to what's been happening between us these past few weeks...
My friend asked if he was tied down and he avoided answering... note that I didn't find this out until during the ride home.

We danced, we drank, we flirted... all the usual fun stuff that gets your heart pumping on a good night out.
It wasn't until the end of the night when we all pretty much were reaching drunk status and my friend asked him that same question again.
Apparently he admitted that yes, he did and then proceeded to show her a picture...

Why did he flirt with me all night?
Allowing me to touch him, hold him, hug him... all that and a little bit more?

WTF?
I'm really not happy.
Haven't been since the car ride home.
He completely lead me on.
FUCK.

What is Monday going to be like?
When we're both back in the office and we have to face each other?
Despite all this shit, he is a good friend.
But that doesn't change the fact that I'm upset, annoyed, and most of all disappointed.

I admit I kind of knew coz other people told me about it but I wanted to hear it from his mouth.
He told my friend. I guess that's enough for me.

My friend texted me yesterday morning and said "Don't worry about Monday. Who cares"
My first thought was 'Easier said than done'.

I seem to be a magnet for unavailable men - physically, emotionally and status-wise.
That's it. I'm giving up on men.

Back to study next week so at least I have that to distract me.
Just gotta get through this week. Maybe I should go into hiding.

On the plus side, I went to lunch with my girlfriends yesterday and though the food was amazing, I couldn't bring myself to tell them what had happened the night before. I simply pretended that I was too drunk to remember.. : /

Out.
x
chauie
'Well I'm not gon' cry, I'm not gon' cry. I'm not gon' shed no tears. No, I'm not gon' cry, it's not the time, 'cause you're not worth my tears' - Not Gon' Cry, Mary J. Blige.

The Way He Makes Me Feel

I wrote this last night on the train on the way home from class. Almost got a little teary too just thinking about it all. The subject. The words that were coming out. This is the truth right here. Words I probably have never spoken aloud before about this particular person. I won't reveal who but if he ever happens to read this, then he should know who he is. I just don't think he realises how he makes me feel.
Again, my thoughts are scattered and probably repetitive throughout this piece but I didn't want to cross out anything... This is purely a rant. Seeing him earlier in the evening sparked these words..

~
I can't seem to escape events and places where I used to go alone.
I now see him joining in... to everything. What happened?
Things were so much better when I didn't see his face.
Today I stepped off the train and as I was walking up the escalator, I saw him walking out of his carriage. It wasn't what I needed. Not in my current state of mind.
I don't want to see him.
(Obviously avoiding him didn't work since he keeps showing up)
What else do I need to do to give him a sign?
I hate the way he makes me feel after every conversation we have
Stupid
And not good enough
Every time we talk, his tone and actions show a different side of him
I can't stand the way he makes me feel after the exchange of words between one another - whether it be a lot or a litte
He reminds me of someone else... Someone who I have not spoken one word to in the last six months
(It could happen to him)
People like that don't deserve my time, yet they keep showing up
(My) Emotions run on high whenever we chat
I don't dare cry in front of him but because of the way he makes me feel
I can't help but let my emotions run wild

Stupid
Not good enough
The two characteristics/words that are often repeating in my head when we talk.
Before, during but especially afterwards.
He makes me lose all confidence in myself simply because of the way he talks to me that I'm often left in the sense of feeling that he thinks he's better.
Better than me.
Better than you.
Better than everyone we both know

I don't know why I ever... (finish this sentence)

He makes me want to scream.
He makes me want to crawl under my covers and cry myself to sleep, hoping to never see his face again
(Don't worry, I didn't do that last night but he txted me this morning - there's no escape!)

I'm scarred emotionally and because of my past, sometimes I feel I'm physically scarred too. (With my past coming back to haunt me) They often both link with one another.

~

I don't really want to post this because I know the questions will come from the few friends that read this blog but I need to let it out.
Thank goodness for my day off today.

x
chauie

'How come, how long, its not right, it's so wrong. Do we let it just go on? Turn our backs and carry on. Wake up, for it's too late' - How Come, How Long by Babyface & Stevie Wonder

Stalker?

What an interesting night.
Do you think I still fancy you?
In someway or another
Coz the both of you were quite guarded
Saying hello was so awkward
Kiss on the cheek or high-five?
You obviously couldn't decide
But I wonder if it was because she was right there..?
And even when you did lean in, her actions showed that she was protecting you
From what?
Me?
Listen here mate, I'm over you.
Sometimes I feel as though I hate you.
I know that hate is a strong word but when I think back on the past (and I know I shouldn't)
The reality is you treated me like shit
And I didn't deserve it
So I think I have the right to feel some hate towards you

I found it even funnier when you had to leave and you were telling everyone where you were going
Yet when you said goodbye to me, you simply said you had to be "somewhere"
Like you were scared of telling me the details..
What are you afraid of?
Did you think I was going to follow you and stalk you?
Get over yourself mate.
I could think of a million things better to do with my time
Like going home!

As for her, we talked last night...
And I was sober so I remember the whole conversation
I don't really care what's going on anymore
I just hope she's careful and that you don't treat her the way you treated me.

Out.
chauie
'Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running. A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you. More than you, more than you know' - Daughtry, Over You

Interesting Advice

Last night went to my cousin's wedding and it was AWESOME! Always great to get together with the cousins, drink, eat and reminisce about all the old times. Though there was a moment in the night that would be best forgotten, the majority of the night was great, thus proving that our family can't get any better. I would have added bigger to that statement also but there's already another bun in the oven! :P

Anyhow, had a moment to catch-up and chat with my sister-in-law and she gave me some interesting advice. Words that I actually wanted to hear. Wise words about being an independent woman and whatnot. With the way I've been feeling lately, these certain words of encouragement and empowerment were just the right push that I needed and when I went back to my table, it made me feel like I hadn't made any mistakes or regrets with the decisions I've made in the past... let's say, few weeks.

Especially with the opposite sex.

So I want to thank her and I'm glad she told me what life is really like for her, despite all the ups and downs.
Love you sis!

Got an early morning tomorrow - even though it's Easter Monday and I should be taking full advantage of this extra day off - but I have some important family stuff to attend to.

Happy Easter yo!
chauie
'So let me on down, Cause time has made me strong. I'm starting to move on. I'm gonna say this now, Your chance has come and gone' - Too Little Too Late, JoJo

Muddled, Grey Thoughts

The days in Sydney have been grey lately
And my mood has unfortunately matched its hue
Some days I just feel alone.
And on those days I want to blame you
Not alone, in the sense of having a partner
But alone in the world
Days when I feel no-one understands
No-one is reaching for my hand
Telling me all will be okay..

Sometimes I wonder why
I am this way
Quiet, shy, secretive
Independent
But I still care about what other people think
I don't know why I still do
Well actually I do: it was all because of my horrific experience in high-school

After I left and found myself reflecting upon it, I realised that all girls are catty bitches looking for drama and a piece of gossip and all guys are jerks who just want to date every girl who walks onto the basketball court.

I don't talk to anyone from High-School anymore coz I realised they all treated me like shit.
It was really hard for me to let people in after that.
It still is.
That's why I'm so quiet when I meet someone new.
I just tend to keep to myself.
You can call it shy
I call it careful:
not wanting to make the same mistake twice.
not wanting to get burnt again...

x
chauie
'Is anyone out there willing to listen. I'm kind of worried about the world that we live in. It's time to stand up but everyone's sitting' - Am I All Alone, Suai

Matchy Matchy

I'm on the train

And saw a couple walking past at one of the stops

Both dressed up in matching sneakers

My question is,

Why do couples feel the need to do it?

I know that being in a relationship, you both influence each other's style and whatnot, but do you both have to match your outfit from head to toe?

(And trust me, I've seen a couple doing that before)

Isn't the act of holding hands enough of a sign that you're 'together'?
Guess not, if they feel they have to go one (unnecessary) step further and buying matchy matchy clothes together!

Quite sad in my opinion.
Pass me a bucket please.

x
chauie

Don't Hate The Player...

Hate the game!

I really do hate playing games.
These certain games that guys and girls play to get each other's attention.
It's sad in a sense
That we have to think about each move we take next.
And someone always seems to get hurt
When the wrong move is made.
But who's to say it is wrong?
Emotions just keep getting played with
Roll the dice..
And find out how you're gonna feel next

If you read my blog often, you'll know that there's a guy who has recently entered my life, but with the mixed messages he kept sending me, I was often left confused.

I was sick of feeling this way
And didn't want to be lead on... again.
Coz there have been way too many times that I've experienced being in that position
So I took matters into my own hands and told him straight up:
"I don't like playing games"

So far, so good - I haven't heard from him since.

x
chauie
'And you keep on playing games. Like you know I'm here to stay. I gotta shake it off' - Shake It Off, Mariah Carey

My Status

Everyone is all coupled up.
Whether it be with their partner, a friend or family.
Everyone is in twos.
If this were happening to me last week, I probably would have walked away by now feeling a little depressed, but this week, I've found myself thinking in a new perspective - especially when it comes to love.
I've always been unlucky in love and I always used to care.
About my relationship status and what other people thought when I told them I was unattached. Especially with friends.
Some don't care.
Others feel the need to push me to every random cute and single boy they see.
It can get quite frustrating at times and though most times, you'll find me playing along..
Deep down, I wasn't happy with what was happening.
The situations and conversations I would find myself in...
I can't even find the words to describe the way I was feeling within those moments but it was far more than awkward.
I think I'm feeling this way, at this point in time, because of a certain boy who's recently entered my life.
But as bad as it sounds, his actions have had me running away rather than into his arms..

Just you wait though - knowing me, my mood will switch up again next week.
Til then.

Peace yo.
x
chauie

The Friend Zone

She likes you
And I'm not talking about me
But even if I were to tell you
You'd think I was crazy
It's pretty obvious
By the words that she speaks
I'm sure she wants more
When she kisses your cheeks
It doesn't seem like you're doing much
When you're working together
But I'm sure you talk about lots of things
Other than the weather
I've seen the photos
I've seen the look on her face
I bet she was wishing
She was in your embrace
But you're so clueless
And she can't tell you a thing
Coz she's scared of your reaction
And doesn't wanna end up as a fling

I kinda lied earlier when I said it wasn't me
But only when I meant she's not alone, she's not the only one
And now I'm scared
To let my feelings become undone
I've had my eye on you for awhile now
But you never would have known
Coz I analyse my moves too much
For fear I'll end up in the friend zone
I haven't seen you since that last time
And I hate the feeling of not being aware
Do you like me or do you not?
To ask this question, I do not dare
Coz I am scared
Of what may become
I'll be biting my nails
Waiting for the outcome
Coz what if your answer is my worst nightmare
What will happen then?
I guess all I really wanna know is
When will be the next time that I'll see you again?
Coz it's been way too long
Since the last time we locked eyes
I wish I had answered you back
That night when you said hi
But I walked away for a second
Hoping you'd still be there when I got back
But you weren't in the place where you once were sitting
And I was left in a room that was almost pitch black

I was inspired to write in this format after watching too many Def Jam Poetry clips online - anyways I hope you like it. Sorry for the length - I was in my element :)
Peace yo!
chauie
'From the day I saw you, I really really want to catch your eye. There's something special 'bout you. I must really like you, Cause not a lotta guys are worth my time' - You Don't Know My Name, Alicia Keys

Vice

I was out with friends for a girlfriend's farewell but I left the night early, hoping to catch up on some sleep and re-collect my thoughts on the train ride home alone. Whilst I managed to do the latter, it's almost 1am and I don't feel the least bit tired.

I don't know what's wrong.
Maybe there's too many thoughts in my head
And so therefore I feel that I cannot
And will not
Be able to sleep until my thoughts are clear.

At times like these
Like the one I'm experiencing at this very moment
I wish I had a vice
Somehow release my thoughts and emotions through it
Take my stress away through a puff of smoke
Or perhaps a swig of alcohol

You may not have been yelling at me
But I could hear the judgment in your voice.
That's why I could not speak whilst we were on the phone
Hearing and knowing your reaction of my written words
Scared me for what may have come had I spoken any words.

I love how I can switch my mood
My mindset
When I walk through the door
Everyone's oblivious
And no-one notices a thing
I'm the invisible individual
No-one asks me how I am
Or notices that I've been crying for the past hour...

Whatever.
I guess I just have to remind myself that I'm the odd one out.
In every aspect of my life...

I miss her!
I wish she was here right now.
She'd know what to say...

All mixed emotions in this post. Gonna try and rest.
My mind may not be clear but my body needs sleep.

Nite yo
chauie
'In the room full of people feels like no one's around. Got your head in the clouds and your feet are off the ground', How It Feels Like To Fly, Alicia Keys

Genuine Smile

The more I see you
It seems as though you're growing on me
But that doesn't make things
Any less awkward
And I still don't find you attractive
As harsh as that sounds

I couldn't say hi to you
In fact I avoided you like the plague
But I was able to wave goodbye
With a genuine smile

Confused?
So am I..

~
I just found out you're a bit of a man-whore.
Forget you.
Bye bye.


Random piece I know lol
x
chauie

January Update

I haven't really been blogging in regards to updates as of late and so I decided to do one (or two) on a monthly basis just so I can drone on and on hehe. Sure the poems are a little insight into my life but they're more cryptic versions... pieces with no names mentioned, which is the way I like them. :)

So I thought I'd have this post and possibly the next one be a little more of the detailed updates - not of the poetry kind.

First off things are really taking off for me. 2010 is the year where I wanted to apply for an internship to get my writing career kick-started and whatnot (It was one of my goals for 2010). Like I said previously, the TAFE marks that I received were awesome and I feel like they were just the thing I needed to give me that push for me to keep doing what I'm doing. Like it was a sign for me to take that next step in achieving my dream, as corny as that sounds...

Last night I went to a farewell for my best friend, a close girlfriend and another mate and instead of all the sad stories and reminiscing, we all took it as a time to catch up and quickly say what we wanted to say until the time we would see each other again.

I admit there were tears when I gave my close girlfriend a card with what I wanted to say to her. I've never been one to say words out loud, in a sense, and the affect that what was written on the card had on her was exactly what I wanted - needless to say there were a little bit of tears and a few hugs. Gonna miss you my dear and will never forget how we first met :) I know you're coming back but that'll be a while yet. xx

My best friend is leaving sooner than ever and I probably didn't get to spend as much time with her as I would have liked to but we caught up and I know she's coming back before I realise how quickly the time has passed. I swear, if she was leaving indefinitely, I probably would have cried a puddle of tears last night but she's going on a big adventure in the next few months and a well-deserved holiday at that! Love you D. xx

As if our group didn't have only a few girls already... now two more are leaving. Boo!

Okay enough of sad news... onto the good!

So like I said at the beginning, I feel like 2010 is going to be my year, career-wise that is, and the past 2-3 weeks has already proven that to me. First off, I talked to my manager about wanting to apply for an internship this year and I wanted to get her thoughts on that. My manager and I are pretty close as far as work relationships go and I'm so glad I received the approval from her to 'go for it'. She knows that I want to move on from my current role and she expects it. Actually, she expected me to move on a while ago hehe

So good news #1.

#2: This may have been a big sign but when I walked out of that meeting (with my manager), I received an email from [Melbourne magazine] Acclaim - it was one of their weekly newsletters - and the content within it was that they were looking for interns! I was a little hesitant in applying coz the internship would be in Melbourne and if I were to get it I would have to figure out a whole bunch of things - i.e flights, leave, accomodation, etc.

I talked to one of my good mates asking for advice and he said to just go for it so I thought it over myself and decided to take the advice of him and my manager and applied.

#3: Got home and received my TAFE marks for the last semester, which if you guys read my blog often, you'll know what I got. Otherwise refer to previous post - 'Results'.

#4: A few days later, I received an email from Mariam, Digital Editor for Universal Music Australia, and I totally forgot that I had randomly applied for this role and well basically her news was that she was happy to have me on as a reviewer for one of their sister sites. This gig is unpaid but in exchange I get free CDs (on a fortnightly basis) and hopefully and eventually, concert tickets. Fingers crossed!

#5: The week after, I received an email from [sub-editor of Acclaim] Alex, letting me know that whilst they couldn't offer me the internship because of the whole location thing, she suggested that I write for the site/blog instead! I was stoked! Even if the role is unpaid, for the moment, the more important thing to me is getting the experience and the exposure. Check out my pieces at www.acclaimmag.com and look out for the BY line hehe :0)

This has been my first week at writing for Acclaim and I'm loving it. At the farewell last night, I had all my friends telling me how proud they were of me! Soo happy! Ah it feels so good to be loved hehe which kind of contradicts what that fortune teller told me last weekend...

Well I'm gonna end this post right here but dont worry, my next update will be about that fortune teller haha

Enjoy the weekend!
Peace yo.
x
chauie

Far More Than Awkward

I saw you last weekend
And the feeling I had when I saw you
Was far more than awkward
I could barely look you in the eye
And in a sense I wanna apologise for it.
For my behaviour that night.
I avoided you at all costs afterwards

What we did
Was a one-time thing
That's what I wanted you to know
But I think I just needed to tell myself too
Not because the temptation was there
Cause trust me, it wasn't.

But moreso because I'm always like this
I avoid the boy in question
If I ever have to see him... again.

x
chauie
'I told myself that I would make some changes. But the more I change there's one thing that remains the same...' - Bad Habit, Destiny's Child

One Sentence

I should be the happiest girl in the world right now.
I should feel like I'm on top of the world.
On the outside I do - well my smiles are showing it.
And for the first half of the day, I was.
I was all smiles.
Boasting about my new writing opportunities for online side projects*.
My workmate said she could feel the sense that I was really excited.
Even when I was saying nothing.

Unfortunately, after lunch my brother sent me an email with one sentence.
But within that sentence was information my mother had told me earlier this morning before I walked out of the house.
I don't know why it didn't hit me sooner.
I guess seeing it written out and reading it just made it seem like it was final.
That things were set in stone.

I don't particularly know where this piece of news is going to lead us but I hope our pathway isn't heading any further downhill coz it really feels like we've hit rock bottom...

Peace.
chauie

NB: *Online side projects are two unpaid writing gigs that I've recently scored! It's finally happening yo!

'I missed all the signs, one at a time....' - Disappear, Beyonce

Icing On The Cake

Walking away and leaving me alone
Was the best thing you ever did
Not hugging you goodbye was the icing on the cake

Hopefully time will not pass by too quickly
Until you come back
And I have to see your face again
I want to get used to the feeling
Of not having to see you
Everywhere I go

I want to reach that level of comfort
That feeling of being able to appreciate
The feeling when you're not here
When I no longer want to reach out a hand to touch yours
The feeling where I no longer look forward to your hugs
The feeling when I see you and feel nothing.

I've felt it in the past when you really upset me
And now that you're gone
I hope to experience it again.

Please don't hurry back.

Peace,
chauie

'Shame on you, if you fool me once. Shame on me if you fool me twice' - Life Goes On, LeAnn Rimes

Not Here Right Now

The more I look at you
The uglier you appear to me
Not only on the outside
But within yourself too
I know what you're like
I know who you are now
And I no longer feel the need
To be apart of your life
To know what's going on
And what you're doing
You can tell me if you want
But that doesn't necessarily mean I'll be listening...
I can't believe you're trying to get with her
After what happened with me
It makes you appear like an idiot
After all that's happened
I can't believe you would disregard my feelings
And the consequences of your actions
Whatever
I'm glad you're not here right now.

Peace.
x
chauie

'Since there's no more you and me. It's time I let you go So I can be free and live my life how it should be. No matter how hard it is, I'll be fine without you. Yes I will' - Better In Time, Leona Lewis

Happy New Year yo!

2009 has ended and 2010 has officially started and I think it's the perfect time for all of us (me, especially) to let go of all we know so we can grow. May it be the bad or the good, we shouldn't let our past define us.

I want to re-enter this world as a twenty-three year old with a different outlook on life. I want to welcome the perspectives of others before I make major (or drastic) decisions concerning my own happiness and well-being.

But in saying that, at the end of the day I want to make a decision (whether it be good or bad, right or wrong) on my own and if it happens to be the wrong one, I want to learn from the mistake and not repeat that same (bad) decision twice.

2010 may only have started but there a couple of things that have been said and some may have started at the end of 2009 that may linger onto 2010 that have me excited for what's to come in the near future.

I want to have a more open mind in the future.

I know I can't completely change my mindset and that there will be a lot of times when I'll stay true to myself and the person I am but for the most part, I'd like to have a more open mind and give certain individuals a chance if the time and place calls for it.

Like I've mentioned in a previous post, there are handful of goals that I'd like to achieve this year. They're not necessarily my New Year's Resolution(s), but just a list of goals that I hope to achieve by 31 Dec 2010. Granted, all of them may not be achieved but I've got at least one goal for every part of my life - work, study, friends, family and me.

Some are long-term and I know personally that I will not complete some of these goals by 31 Dec but I'd like to try and get started on it if time permits me to.

Anyhow, I'll stop here for now - they'll be plenty more to write in 2010 and I'm looking forward to it! :)

May we all have a great 2010 ahead of us!
Happy New Year yo!

Thanks for reading/following/dropping by whenever you have a moment,
x
chauie

The Odd One Out

It's two days before 2010 and I'm anxious to find out what the year has in store for me.
I turned 23 (approximately) two weeks ago and it seems like things are already taking a positive turn for me.
Since the night of my birthday dinner, it's like I've woken up even more in a sense.
I have a handful of personal goals that I'd like to acheive by 31 Dec 2010.
But even if I only achieved one of those goals and complete it whole-heartedly, I'd be happy.

2009 was the year thay begun the search of being my own person...
I stood up against my parents and told them what I wanted.
After 22 years, they had to know me by now right?
Sometimes that statement feels like the exact opposite.
But as much as my family want me to be like them in life, share the same attributes and whatnot, for the first time I don't mind being the odd one out.
I don't mind not being the one that doesn't fit in.
I don't mind being misunderstood.

I've felt the feeling of it for years now but now I feel I can finally accept it.
I know my opinions and thoughts have always been different to those of my family members and relatives and at this moment, I'm honestly okay with it.

Peace and love,
chauie

Offended

Who are they to judge me?
They've seen me out and having "fun" twice
They don't know about the others
Don't call me something that I may not be

(But even if I am what you say I am, wouldn't you fit into the same category?
We all make decisions based on our personal choices. I'm sorry but I refuse to succumb to what you think is right and wrong - what's good and bad)

Don't make assumptions
I thought they knew me
By now
But I guess they dont know me at all

I knew there was a reason why i never disclosed information about that part of my life
I am quite offended by the comment
Knowing they made it behind my back


Thanks a lot, mate(s).


Getting things off my chest,
chauie
'Well I, thought I knew you. Thinking, that you were true. I guess I, I couldn't trust 'cause your bluff time is up 'cause I've had enough' - Fighter, Christina Aguilera