The Last 12 Hours

Ever since I came home last night, I thought I was having an okay day. I was feeling okay at least, but then last night, just as I was about to knock myself out I received a txt message from a guy whom I hadn't seen / talked to for more than 18 months. It was about 1am and he texted me this:

'Hi chau. Eric here. Missing u. Maybe. Msg me back. just to chat.'

Random i know. So I msged back and was like 'Hey. How's it going? Watcha been up to? It's been a while... are you drunk hehe?'

I asked if he was drunk coz the last few times he's contacted me via a text message, he was already intoxicated and it's like he would be going through his phone to text random people so I thought my question was valid.

I kinda knocked out after I hit send. Whoops...

I awoke this morning, however, to find two missed calls from the guy and a text.

A text where my initial reaction was anger. Here's the text:

'Boo since when does Eric get drunk? Just missing u during my bday. Thought you would remember thats all :( '

I'm not gonna even ask why he's referring to himself in third person but you're probably wondering why I was angry when I read that particular text. And the answer is all in the last two sentences: Just missing u during my bday. Thought you would remember that's all.

I mean, where does he get off saying something like that when we havent been in contact for almost two years!? The last time I talked to him was at my 21st birthday (Dec, 2007)... which was almost two years ago... wait scratch that, the last time I saw him, I said 'Hi' but we were at a music festival and he was all drugged out.

It's not like he remembered my birthday last year. His cousin, on the other hand, at least texted me on the day, called me on the night I was celebrating and asked to come meet me to buy me a drink. I remember he came to the bar I was at for cheap 'Happy Hour' pre-drinks and he came by after work with another friend of ours, chatted to me for a bit, bought me a shot and then left. It wasn't much but it was something. It was a nice gesture and at least it showed me just a little, that he still wants me in his life (just as friends!). Since my 22nd birthday, I havent seen him at all, but we still keep in contact.

Not like Eric. And oh, by the way, I do think he was drunk and just lying to me. Who spends their birthday sober anyway? Even if he wanted to, his friends wouldn't have allowed it. He's one of the biggest drinkers I know. He wouldn't have gotten away with wanting to spend the night of his birthday sober.

It makes me think that at one point of the night, he sat in a corner of the room or wherever he was, drunk, whilst going through his phone and seeing who hadn't yet texted him to wish him 'Happy Birthday'. If that is true, in my opinion, that's kinda sad. In the past 12 months, we havent talked. We havent seen each other. We're on each other's MSN buddy list but we havent chatted.

If we havent talked in the past 12 months, then I wont necessarily contact you. Unless I want to.
And if you really missed me, then you would've contacted me a lot earlier because I realised something recently..

Life is short. I've learnt that. I'm still learning it. I know people and the media and everything that surrounds me says it all the time but I think I needed to experience it to really let it hit me. And trust me, I'm experiencing that moment. In the past year, I've been experiencing those particular moments that make you take a step back and realise:

'Shit. What just happened?'

'How can I change?'

'What can I do to make those I care about happy?' and

'What can I do to make myself happy?'

I finally stepped up and made a change in my life. For the benefit of me. For something I wanted to do. After listening to people around me who thought they knew what was best for me, I stopped and took a step back and realised that what they thought was the best for me was not the best for me because at the end of the day, I wasn't happy. I wasn't spending the day doing something I love.

If it doesn't make you happy (at all), don't do it. That's what I learnt.

And if you really can't quit on it, then find an element about it that makes you happy and try and reinforce positivity, encouraging yourself to see the bright side of things through that one element, whether it be big or small.

For example, I've been at my current job now (the one dealing with Finance and Business - boring!) for almost two years (two in October) but I'm not happy there. I stay because the people there make me happy. The people I work with. The people who I've created friendships with. The people, who are all older than me, and who like to look out for me.

Sure there have been times when those people piss you off and you just don't wanna be at work at all, but that happens everywhere. It's normal.

But at least my work encourages me to work for my future goals. It allows me to go to school in my spare time (after work) and strive towards something that I want to do later. If that means a career change, they'll support me and help me to find ways to take that extra or next step. :)

Okay this is turning out to be a longer post then I expected. It started off as a rant and then turned into a personal reflection! hehe I'm off.

//Edit: By the way, Eric's birthday is August 19th so my conclusion is he was definitely drunk last night. What an idiot / loser.. lame...

Peace.
chauie
'I've been thinking that you've crossed the line, if you disappeared that would be just fine' - Shame For You, Lily Allen

Letter

Dear ....... ,

I'm just gonna go straight into it.

I don't know why I ever liked you. Sure, I was probably superficial at the time and became attracted to your looks initially but now I think back and wonder why did I ever have feelings for you?

How could you treat me the way you did?

Leaving me behind in the cold? In the shadows?

I'd gotten used to being a shadow in the background in my past...with friends, even family. It always seemed like I was being compared to someone else... so in the past, I chose to take steps back and be 'forgotten'.

When I met you, I thought I'd found someone that had discovered my worth as a person. Even if nothing would have come out of us, as a friend, I thought you would at least treat me better.

Respect my feelings.

Respect my heart.

How wrong I was.

You're just like everyone else who's walked in and out of my life.

I think back now and I realise there are a lot of things that I hid about you. Telling friends and such, I said that you weren't that type of person that they questioned about. In reality though, I think I was hiding the truth from myself also.

I'm glad now that nothing happened. I believe now that everything happens for a reason and especially in this case, I'm glad the reason is for the better. That reason being that I'm able to move on with my life without you (in it) treating me like shit.

I feel sorry for the others.

Don't expect too much contact from me in the future.

Bye.

Oh one more thing, I'd like to quote one of my fave artists right now, Kid Cudi, through his lyrics with a message to you:

you're cool, you're cool, fuck you

and tell the *****, fuck you too

:)


Now I'm done.

~~~~~
This letter is dedicated to a boy in my past and from the last few lines, I'm sure you can tell that I am glad that from here on in, he wont be in my everyday life. I'll be making sure of that.

I want him to know, especially, that he's the last person that's gonna treat me that way.
I don't even know if I want him as a friend, or in my life for a moment longer.
I've lost my interest in him completely, perhaps Sydney boys altogether. (that's for you Jussy!)

This "letter" sparked my interest in writing it because I realised that it's almost been a year since all that shit happened. And since then, a whole load of other stuff has happened... and like I've said before, a lot can happen in a year.

One day, I might just post this letter to that unfortunate boy. Til then, it definitely got out what I've wanted to say for a long time.

Peace yo.
chauie
"I always remember feeling like I was no good.." - Resentment, Beyonce

People in the Office

I need to vent yet again. This is the only place I see that I'm able to do so. Here we go:

Some people in this office are just rude mothertruckers.

You think just coz you're one role above us in the corporate heirachy world, that you dont need to say hi to the rest of us?

It's just a form of greeting no matter what position you're in. You can snob us all you want for the rest of the day, but all we ask for in the morning is a greeting in return.

People will like you more if you said hi to the rest of us "commoners", and if you didn't know, I'm telling you, so that you now know.

And I also have to add that, a nod, does not constitute as a form of greeting. Not unless it's followed with a smile or a few words strung together along the lines of 'Hello'...

That's it.

Unfortunately I still have to face these 'people' until I find myself a better job and get myself outta here.


Peace out.
chauie
'I don't think that anyone is like you' - Re-Arranged, Limp Bizkit

My (Strange) Mood

At this moment, this time of night, I feel strange.

So far, I've had a great week but on the way home tonight, I found out some bad news about a family member and for some wierd reason I don't feel sad.

I mean, yes, I feel sad and sympathetic for her and her family right now because we don't really have all the information we want or need right now... but I just feel strange.

I feel like... something worse is around the corner.

I know it's a bad thing to feel. A worse thing to even let that thought cross my mind.

I mean, what could be worse than the end for someone you love and care about right?

I don't know what else to say right now.

I feel like I need to write.

I was talking to my workmate earlier in the week and I told him writing is my main form of expression. I often clam up and get all shy and shit, especially when I'm in a crowd, in the limelight or meeting new people, but give me a pen and paper and I could probably write for days on end..

Unfortunately, right now I feel that there are no right words to help me describe the exact emotions and feelings that I'm experiencing at this point.

So on that note, all I can do is stop and try and gather whatever strange thoughts are in my head and try to make sense of it all.

//Edit: Now I'm crying (just a little) listening to the following lyrics:

And if I die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take

But please don't cry, just know that I have made these songs for you

And if I die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take

'Cuz I'm ready for the funeral

And if I die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take

So please don't cry, just know that I have made these songs for you

And if I die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take

'Cuz I'm ready for the funeral

(I'm ready for the funeral, I'm ready for the funeral)

Night,
chauie

Nineteen Minutes...

I'm reading this book by Jodi Picoult and the first page had me hooked. I read the first page in the bookstore and I just wanted to keep reading to find out more.

The first page is a short letter.

Really, it's a suicide note if you read it and understand the message behind it.

It really hit me too..

There have been times in my twenty-two years when I've wanted to leave, well not exactly this letter / message behind, but something along these lines and see what other people's reactions would be...

Check it:

By the time you read this, I hope to be dead.
You can't undo something that's happened; you can't take back a word that's already been said out loud. You'll think about me and wish that you had been able to talk me out of this. You'll try to figure out what would have been the one right thing to say, to do. I guess I should tell you,
Don't blame yourself, this isn't your fault,
but that would be a lie. We both know that I didn't get here by myself.
You'll cry, at my funeral. You'll say it didn't have to be this way. You will act like everyone expects you to. But will you miss me?
More importantly - will I miss you?
Does either one of us really want to hear the answer to that question?

Peace,

chauie

Jade – It’s My Heart, Cookie (EP)

So I was having a random conversation with my workmates the other day at lunch and we went over a topic I'm sure we've all discussed once in our lives: what's the one thing you could not live without?

The usual answers came up - chocolate, their car, food, sleep, etc but my answer was music. I have to have music playing in my life every day - whether it be through my earphones or just playing in the background, it's just one thing I can't live without.

I love listening to what new artists are throwing out there and seeing how they’re experimenting with all elements of music to create a fresh and unique sound. Here’s one artist that I came across reading Kid Cudi’s blog (http://www.kidcudi.com/) a while back.

(picture credit: http://www.myspace.com/jadeismusic)


I’ve had this EP for a few months now and at first I didn't want to share it. Sometimes you just want to keep the things you find secret and underground for fear that they’ll later become too mainstream and hipster. But I think everyone needs to listen to this young spirit right here.

Jade sings from and for the heart, mind, body and soul. Her lyrics are often described as ‘real and soulful’, and while that is true, her sound seems to reveal elements of rhythm and blues, with touches of experimental and candy-coated catchy pop aspects.

At the tender age of 22, Jade, born and raised in Brooklyn, New York, has only an EP out thus far, but she’s already got a growing following on MySpace and hopefully, in due time will be a rising artist.

‘I write whatever makes me feel good and I hope it makes you feel good too’, she says (via her MySpace account – http://www.myspace.com/jadeismusic).

Click the following link to download her EP, listen and see what I’m talking about:

http://www.zshare.net/download/58014457f31c8a89/

(If that doesn’t work, you can grab the link from her My Space.)

Hope you guys like it as much as I did when I first heard it! :)

Peace out.
x
chauie

Hip Hop Just Saved My Life...

So I've been listening to a lot of hip hop of late. Blame it on friends, blame it on the clubs, blame it on the random blogs I come across. Whatever it is, I'm glad.

Because I never really realised the message that most of the emcees out there spitting out are actually a deep insight into their lives and what they're going through. What they had to go through to get to where they are now.

And although predominantly, the artists that are high on rotation on my iTunes are American-based (Aussie hip hop ain't that great), as crazy as it sounds, I can relate. Just flip the male point of view and see it from a female's side.

I listen to all genres of music - I'm eclectic in that sense coz I like to keep an open mind. And although generally the melody compliments the lyrics, it's the words and message behind each song that get to me. Listen to them, read them, break them down and you'll see what the artist(s) is really trying to say. Trying to reach out and make a change (as cliche as that sounds).

I guess that's why I love to write. The fact that words can be so powerful that they evoke certain emotions is a crazy thing. But a good one, at that.

There are a handful of hip hop artists whose albums I'm excited to get my hands on later on in the year. Emcees whom, when I listen to them, can really break through the walls I put up around myself and get into the emotions I keep deep down inside. The emotions I keep hidden from the rest of the world.

It's all over when someone can do that.

Here's two of the (hip hop) albums I'm looking forward to coming out this year:

Just got word that Lupe Fiasco's album 'L.A.S.E.R.S' is due for release in December. I really hope that release date is international too. Fiasco is a lyrical genius in my opinion. His last album 'The Cool' might have to be one of my fave albums ever.

Of course I had to give a mention to Kid Cudi and his upcoming debut release 'Man on the Moon: The END of DAY'. I keep raving on about Cudi but I can't help it and when his album drops (internationally) Sept 15 (release date got pushed back), you'll see and understand exactly why.


More from me later,
chauie

Do You Ever?

Do you ever feel like no-one, especially your family, understands you?

Do you ever feel like the people around you, whether it be friends, family or someone you just met, tell you they get what you're saying, but in reality it's just a line of bullshit?

Ever feel like crying for no reason at all?
I do.

Well right now, I have a reason and of course it's family related and also links to the rest of my life.

But sometimes I just wanna cry for no reason.

I'll have thoughts ... obviously not the positive kind ... and they just seem to send me off into another world.

Sometimes I feel like I have to be two people. Have two personalities:

...the girl everyone wants me to be and the person that I really am...

which would you prefer?

x
chauie
"My mind is gone, I'm spinning around. And deep inside, my tears I'll drown" - Cry, Rihanna

I Love Him...

My sister came over for dinner last night with my nephew and honestly, there is nothing else that makes me smile more than that kid.

He's the only boy in my life that I love :)

He's just past eight months old and every little thing about him makes me smile.

It makes it seem like every other thing that I'm stressing about in life seem not important anymore.

That's the feeling I need. He's the main reason I'm still here.

It used to be other people but I've been doing a lot of thinking and I've realised there are a lot of judgmental people in my life.

People whom, when I tell something good happening in my life, they seem to tear it up in pieces.

And you wonder why my thinking is usually negative... if only you knew the people I had to deal with.

Above is a pic of the boy in my life that keeps me sane. :)

(Taken a few months ago but still cute as a button!)

Peace out...

chauie

Under the Weather...

When I'm feeling sick (yes, I'm one of many to have been hit with the flu), my mind tends to wander and I end up thinking about the illest things.

Sometimes good. Sometimes bad. Most times sad.
Sometimes future. Sometimes present. Most times past.

Today feels like I've been chained to my bed and it's not the greatest feeling in the world. At least I've had my laptop from stopping me and occupying me from sleeping the entire day as much as my body wants to. My mind, however, is keeping me awake with all these thoughts.

I think these thoughts started out yesterday and I tried to keep my mind off them by going on a little cruise with my mates last night but it only helped for the entirety of the random lil' trip. When I got home, I didn't really sleep right away coz I was faced with the same thoughts all over again.

I did eventually get to sleep and lucky I didn't dream about it. But I turned on the radio and was listening to the top ten of triple j's Hottest 100 of All Time and those songs just took me back again.

I tweeted this earlier : listening to #Hottest100 - so many favourites, so many memories...
but I never mentioned if those memories were good or bad memories.

Peace.
chauie

I Miss Him...

Earlier today, I received a call from my grandpa. He lives in the States - well Houston, Texas to be more specific. I hardly get to see him.. He rarely makes the trip over and I've never made the trip over myself either. I reckon I could easily do it too... but I just never have. Selfish, I know.

Talking to him today and hearing his voice... even though it was just a few minutes, I felt a lump form in my throat. I really miss him. Our conversation was half English-half Vietnamese but I guess living in the States, he understood what I was on about when I couldn't find the right words to tell him in Vietnamese.

It was really good to hear his voice. I know he was worried with the questions he asked me to see how I was doing.

My dad came home and I told him what we talked about. My dad said that he feels sorry for him and that we should make more contact with him coz his time is probably near. He's over 80 years old and he's lived a pretty fulfilling life, I'd say. But I'd really like to go and visit him, even if it is the last time.

Sitting there and conversing with my dad, my mind wandered off and I thought of something that I don't think was appropriate to tell my dad but this is what I thought:

If the time does come soon and my grandpa is on his deathbed, I would like to fly over just for his funeral. I want to see where he lived and even where he might pass away.

Out for now..
Peace.
x
chauie

She

She may not be fresh but she too is not bland
She's what they call in demand
You think you know her but you don't
You want to know her but you won't
She's not looking for friends to bring her down
She's walking towards the water, ready to drown
She doesn't know who to trust on this earth
She's hoping to meet someone who can see her worth
They say the grass is greener on the other side
But she feels people around her just push her aside
She wants so much in life but doesn't know where to start
She wants to make a decision that won't break her parents' hearts
She's the kind of friend that everyone turns to
Call her and without a doubt, she'll come through
Always with a box of tissues and a shoulder to cry on
She's the one family and friends seem to call upon
But they rarely ask what's going on with her
But even if you asked, she wouldn't say
Coz she's a closed book and that's what she prefers
When they're already down, she doesn't want to dampen their mood
She'll vent through her writing and doesn't want to be viewed
She's judged and misinterpreted by the way she is and what she does
This is the way she is and you can't change that becuz
No matter how hard you try and change her to be who you want her to be
It's better for you to give up now and let she be me.

Peace out..
x
chauie

(S)he Came Along...

I’ve been listening to his music for only a couple months now (yes, yes I know it took me a little while to take notice!) and I’ve listened to his songs all the way through almost every day on my way to work but I always just listened to the melody and the beats and never really listened to the lyrics unless he was breaking it down during the mixtapes.

Who am I on about?

Kid Cudi

I know I’ve raved on about him before but I’ve grown to be such a big lover of his work. His freestyles are amazing but today on the train, I was listening to the lyrics of a particular song and I felt a tug at my heart. I don’t even know why it was making me feel the emotions that I was feeling but when I had to get off the train, and the song was coming to an end, I didn’t really feel sad about it.

It was a really strange feeling that I experienced. Kinda left me perplexed for the remainder of the day, only because I could feel some tears coming on while listening to it. I just felt that I could really relate to it.

A time in the past? A time in the present? Who knows? I just know that I’m glad to have really listened to Cudi’s lyrics and what he was singing about.

Definitely brought back some shit... whether it be good shit or bad it was okay for me to feel this way..

//Edit: By the way, I got up the nerve and courage to let Mr Cudi know how I felt when I heard the message through his songs via Twitter and he tweeted me back:

(formerly imcudi) kidcudi@superchauie i love u for sharing that, sometimes i wanna cry for no reason, for sad shit dat happen when i was young. bugged?

that ^ made my day/week/month/year.

(picture credit: www.datnewcudi.com)

Peace.
chauie

Jackson's Memorial Service.

Watched Michael Jackson's memorial service earlier tonight and still, hours later, I'm saddened by the event that took place.

Even though his daughter spoke for maybe 15 sec, the emotions she expressed when she spoke those words about her father during that time... i'm sure, everyone was feeling similar to what she was feeling.

I know I was... having shed a tear or two.
:(

Out.
chauie

Tree Life 2010

Anyone stuck for what to do for the Summer break in 2010?

Well look no further Sydneysiders then to Hyde Park, Martin Place and the iconic Sydney Opera House where The Cool Hunter is launching a brand new free event in which leading artists, designers and architects from all over the globe will be showing off their talent through innovative and sustainable designs of ‘eco-green’ tree houses.

Let me present to you: Tree Life by The Cool Hunter.





The free event will showcase green and sustainable designs set mainly in stunning Hyde Park, before moving on to London and New York.

This is a not to be missed event so make an entry in your diaries coz I wouldn’t want to be sitting here saying ‘I told you so’. :)

Can't wait!

chauie

The Rocks Aroma Festival

Calling all connoisseurs!

July marks the 2009 Aroma Festival in Sydney so for those of you that love the smell of fresh coffee beans, the delicious taste of chocolate, and exploring different flavours of tea and spices, make your way over to The Rocks this month to tantalise those senses whilst browsing through a variety of stalls.

On Sunday 19th July, 2009, skip that sleep-in and drag yourselves out of bed to get to the Festival on time which kicks off at 10am.

Explore the tastes of coffee, tea, chocolate and spices from South America, Asia, the Middle East and Europe.


(picture credit: www.thebestrestuarants.com.au


Enjoy cups of coffee for $2 and warm up with tea, chai and chocolate at four unique destinations – The Oasis, South American Latin Quarter, The Orient, and The Continent.

The annual festival will also feature free entertainment and this year presents a camel ride from The Orient (Asia) to The Oasis (the Middle East)!

It’s an entry that will be marked in my diary and it’s the perfect timing and an alternative solution of keeping warm whilst Sydney hits the peak of its Winter weather.


Enjoy!

x
chauie

Side Project...

Thirteen Itches.

My friends and I have been working on a lil' side project for more than a few months now and I've never really talked about it. I've told workmates but only to a certain extent. Only because I don't think we've completely prepared ourselves yet. To be honest, I don't think we are ready to launch our brand just yet.

The only thing we have right now is a website and a blog (in which I regularly contribute to)! :)

Feel free to check us out:

http://www.thirteenitches.com.au/

Yes, we are a design company catering mainly to those of the streetwear scene but nowadays fashionistas everywhere are incorporating streetwear into their look, so i'm kinda confused as to where we actually stand in the market.

But that's something to decide later i suppose.

This is the project that I'm doing and the people that I'm with when I'm not working, attending classes or writing for this blog. :)

However, I do want to say, because there is a certain limit (in my opinion) as to what exactly I can post (yes, there is a process), for that particular blog, if I write something thats meant for 13itches, i'm going to post it here aswell regardless if it makes it on that website or not.

I don't want to work on a piece and have it thrown away. It should be published somewhere - why not my own blog?

And if for any reason, haters out there come across a post on the 13itches website first and then see it here and say I'm emulating someone else, please check the By Line before you open your mouth.

That's all.
chauie

Stepping Back Onto the Academic Footpath

So if you would have read my previous post last night, there was a blink and you'll miss it part where I mentioned that I'd be going back to school for further study. I know it may be a bit of a contradiction after ranting on in 'Untitled' that a piece of paper meant shit to me. But I just wanna say that, for me, I'll be doing a course that I actually want to do.

Yes, me. The girl that has never liked studying is going to be stepping foot into a classroom once again. Well a lecture room in this case. But honestly, I've never liked school. I was never one to strive academically.

You see, the thing is I've recently hit a bit of a crossroads where I didn't really know where I stood in life - career-wise, at least. With friends, I'm the quiet one but I like to party hehe. With family, I'm kinda like the black sheep. That's how I see it anyway. How I think they see me. Not just my immediate, but those in my extended too. Oh well.

But with the rest of my life, I'm a bit lost to be honest. I've never known what I really wanted to do in life. Okay, maybe I've always known but there was always obstacles in the way of me achieving that goal. Being able to hit that target. And there was one big obstacle that's always been there and probably will always be: my parents.

Sometimes I question it though, like 'Aren't they supposed to support me in the decisions I make?' Not steer me in a different direction instead? Like when I said I was going to study Design. I remember one of the first reactions was 'But that's not going to make you any money?'

I know that comment is going to open up a can of worms. Open up an old wound for me too. A wound that never seems to want to heal.

But just to let you know, I've only told my mum and I told her not to tell my brothers coz they all live in the same mindset as my parents where they wanna work in roles that will just lead them to lots of paper (cash). But I don't give a shit about that. I've always known I've been the different one in my family. I don't care for the cash and fame that most young kids aspire for.

Don't get me wrong, I love famous people and meeting them is always a fun and exciting feeling but I don't think I'd ever want to be famous. Most people are nobodies until they turn into somebodies. But for me, I'm a nobody that wants to stay a nobody. I don't care for the limelight, the spotlight, whatever you want to call it. I'm happy being in the background. It's a role that I've gotten used to. And if I ever do get thrown in the limelight, I don't think I'd mind a little bit of it... I just don't know if I could handle it on my own.

The course I'm studying though may lead me to talking to those in the 'industry' but that's all I want. To talk to those in the industry. I'm not looking to be an extra in a film. I don't want to be a girl in no clothes shaking her ass in a video. And my voice would probably break windows if i ever stepped on stage. So therefore I'm quite happy with the thought of being behind the camera rather than being in front of it.

The only time you'll ever see me in front of a camera is when I'm taking a photo with someone. I'm rarely alone in a pic. I avoid it as much as possible. Also, with people in the photo, I can let them dominate the photo as much as they want to and I can just fade into the back behind them.


I have a theory that there are two types of people in this world - that you grow up and fall into two categories: smart and beautiful. Unfortunately for me I didn't really fall into either one. But I guess now, I'm going to try to fall into the first coz I know it's too late for the latter (see 'Untitled Pt 2').

Anyways my course starts July 20th which is the week after my Writing Course finishes so perfect timing I'd say. I really hope I can commit to these classes and finally head into the direction of where I want to be.

Peace yo...
chauie

One Year = 12 Months = 365 Days

I was sitting at dinner tonight for a friend's birthday and looking around at the table, i had a little flashback. This time last year, we were also at dinner for the same birthday but most of us were different. Some still the same. How 12 months can change us is incredible sometimes especially when we don't see each other too often.

I'm not really talking of a physical change (except that I did just change my hair recently which received a positive response) but just catching up and hearing what everyone is up to, it's kinda crazy. New partners, new places to live, engagements with marriage on the cards, new jobs, further studying (or in my case, going back to studying - ill explain later), future endeavours... the list goes on.

It was a good thing though. The fact that we hardly see each other is not a great thing but when we do get to see each other (which these days is quite rare as we all have our own thing going on), we know we can talk about anything with each other. These are the friends that I'll keep in my life (i hope) forever. We even had a friend whom we hadn't seen since our first or second year of uni together drop by for a bit. That was a good surprise!

A year seems like such a long period of time and yes, we do see each other every now and then, but it's only the birthdays that we seem to see each other all at the one time. And that's only some birthdays. There's always someone who can't make it. But I suppose as long as the majority of the group is there, that's all that matters :)

I'm glad I went tonight. I was supposed to be having dinner with my team and our ex-manager but she cancelled and I don't mean this in a bad way but I'm glad, otherwise I would have missed out on this particular dinner.

I feel like I've changed a bit. At least towards some of them. There was news that I wanted to share - the good and the bad - but I felt myself hold back for some reason. It was wierd. Really wierd. When they asked me what I'd been up to for the past few months, I wanted to tell them everything but the only words that came out were "Nothing much. Just working"...

I, myself, am confused at my response.

I'm out.
Night.
x
chauie