The status / decision of my Aunt's condition is still pending. I found out the news about a couple of weeks ago...
Had a lil' cry last week during my morning meeting with the team at work but it went un-noticed coz I kept my face down. When I was ready to look up again, I rubbed at my eyes giving the impression that there were no tears, and instead fooling everybody and making them think my eyes were irritating me. Like I said, nobody noticed…
~
My auntie made this confession to one of her sisters last week:
"Each morning I wake up and I know I've made it through another day."
This confession sent shivers down my spine when my mum told me.
I don't know if I should see it as a positive thing but I know I've thought about this statement in the past but mine came with negative thoughts...
Last year when I first found out about the critical condition my aunt was in, the doctors told us the same thing they did two weeks ago - that they don't know how much longer she has.
I went to visit her on Sunday night and at times like these, I wish I was more fluent in Vietnamese. The language barrier between my Auntie and I puts up an invisible wall between us where I can't ask her or speak the words I want to say.
The fact that I don't know a lot of the language often limits me to ask only one question - "How've you been?" - and that's the last thing I want to ask.
When I went to visit my aunt for the first time in hospital late last year, she wasn't awake and I was so afraid to open my mouth and speak aloud. All I could do was hold her hand and look at her...
When I left the hospital that day, I sat in my room and cried. With pen and paper in hand, I started writing and the following words were inked onto the lines of the pages of my notebook:
I don't know if I should see it as a positive thing but I know I've thought about this statement in the past but mine came with negative thoughts...
Last year when I first found out about the critical condition my aunt was in, the doctors told us the same thing they did two weeks ago - that they don't know how much longer she has.
I went to visit her on Sunday night and at times like these, I wish I was more fluent in Vietnamese. The language barrier between my Auntie and I puts up an invisible wall between us where I can't ask her or speak the words I want to say.
The fact that I don't know a lot of the language often limits me to ask only one question - "How've you been?" - and that's the last thing I want to ask.
When I went to visit my aunt for the first time in hospital late last year, she wasn't awake and I was so afraid to open my mouth and speak aloud. All I could do was hold her hand and look at her...
When I left the hospital that day, I sat in my room and cried. With pen and paper in hand, I started writing and the following words were inked onto the lines of the pages of my notebook:
"What I Wanted To Say..."
Lying there I could not bring myself to say anything
I believed that you could hear me
But still my mouth would not open
and speak the words I wanted to say
The news broke out at two
No-one could stand the thought of losing you
Tears flowed freely
No-one could stand the thought of losing you
Tears flowed freely
Let's switch places
You and me
(to stop the tears)
You and me
(to stop the tears)
You can fight this
You'll make it through
That's what I wanted to say
When I was holding your hand
And looking at you...
~~~~
That's what I wanted to say
When I was holding your hand
And looking at you...
~~~~
Update: I think these above words still ring true each time I go and visit her coz there's only so much you can say and have the other person understand what you're saying... if only she knew what I wanted to say...
That's it.
Peace yo.
"I'm just not there. Life's just not fair. Life's just not fair" - Street Lights, Kanye West
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