Existence

I was sitting in class earlier tonight and I started having second thoughts about it all.
But I think it went further than just me not wanting to be in class.
It was more about whether I should be here at all.

My existence.

Would it really matter to anyone if I was here or not?
If I disappeared for a week, how long would it take you to realise that I was missing?
If I shut off my phone and left my emails unread, what would happen?
What would you do?
Would you know if I had gone into hiding?

I don't see a lot of people on a regular basis. I have 300+ friends on Facebook and I see maybe 10% of them on a weekly basis. I reckon I could go on living life for about a month and end up only seeing 10 and that's only because of the people I work with.

But for some 'friends', though they say they'll keep in touch, there have hardly been any signs o that being true: no missed calls, no emails, no txt msgs.. not even a comment on my wall to say 'Hi'...

Next week, I'm on a two-week break from class and I've decided to really re-assess my life.
Taking the advice of my workmate, I'm going to re-assess the 'friends' I have too.

It feels like it's time for a change.

Chopping my hair off.
Re-assessing my life.
Organising my home-life.
Re-assessing my friends.
Changing my attitude.

I hope doing these abovementioned things will push me and give me an extra dose of much-needed confidence.
I went to a workshop at work today and leaving this particular session, left me with three key things that I needed to do. One of which was: "LEARN TO SAY NO!"

I'm out.
x
chauie
'I don't go with yesterday no more (Ooh). Now I'm feeling free (I'm feeling free). Today tomorrow told me (What it say?). That's where I should be (That's where I should be)' - T.O.N.Y, Solange Knowles

Don't Hate The Player...

Hate the game!

I really do hate playing games.
These certain games that guys and girls play to get each other's attention.
It's sad in a sense
That we have to think about each move we take next.
And someone always seems to get hurt
When the wrong move is made.
But who's to say it is wrong?
Emotions just keep getting played with
Roll the dice..
And find out how you're gonna feel next

If you read my blog often, you'll know that there's a guy who has recently entered my life, but with the mixed messages he kept sending me, I was often left confused.

I was sick of feeling this way
And didn't want to be lead on... again.
Coz there have been way too many times that I've experienced being in that position
So I took matters into my own hands and told him straight up:
"I don't like playing games"

So far, so good - I haven't heard from him since.

x
chauie
'And you keep on playing games. Like you know I'm here to stay. I gotta shake it off' - Shake It Off, Mariah Carey

Work and Stuff.

Yesterday I had my quarterly review with my manager and I told her exactly how I was feeling.

How I've been feeling.

Basically I lay out all the cards on the table.

Of course, this lead to a little breakdown but I'm okay now. Well today anyway.

It was just good to finally get things off my chest about all the pressure and the workload and whilst sometimes it's my fault - taking on more than i can handle and such - for the most part, it's other people.

Ugh. Someone get me another job please.

x
chauie

My Status

Everyone is all coupled up.
Whether it be with their partner, a friend or family.
Everyone is in twos.
If this were happening to me last week, I probably would have walked away by now feeling a little depressed, but this week, I've found myself thinking in a new perspective - especially when it comes to love.
I've always been unlucky in love and I always used to care.
About my relationship status and what other people thought when I told them I was unattached. Especially with friends.
Some don't care.
Others feel the need to push me to every random cute and single boy they see.
It can get quite frustrating at times and though most times, you'll find me playing along..
Deep down, I wasn't happy with what was happening.
The situations and conversations I would find myself in...
I can't even find the words to describe the way I was feeling within those moments but it was far more than awkward.
I think I'm feeling this way, at this point in time, because of a certain boy who's recently entered my life.
But as bad as it sounds, his actions have had me running away rather than into his arms..

Just you wait though - knowing me, my mood will switch up again next week.
Til then.

Peace yo.
x
chauie

Today Was A Great Day!

Today I found out some great news!

In relation to my writing that is... hehe

Jeff Staple (iconic streetwear designer whom I, and a few of the itches clan, met in Melbourne) liked MY review of the Buffet event!

The fact that he read the thirteen itches blog first of all is big news - major exposure for the label. But even bigger is him saying that he liked my review is soo awesome! Couldn't wipe the smile off my face hehe

Check out what he said:

"Check out the Thirteen Itches blog and Frank/Qubic’s blog for a great write-up from a local’s perspective."

This is a major compliment!!!

Even further, it tells me that I didn't make a mistake choosing to write for the rest of my life hehe

Anyways, you can check out Mr Staple's review here.

And above, well I had to add it in but it's a pic of he and I (and his fries!) in Melbourne after the Buffet forums :0)