Genuine Smile

The more I see you
It seems as though you're growing on me
But that doesn't make things
Any less awkward
And I still don't find you attractive
As harsh as that sounds

I couldn't say hi to you
In fact I avoided you like the plague
But I was able to wave goodbye
With a genuine smile

Confused?
So am I..

~
I just found out you're a bit of a man-whore.
Forget you.
Bye bye.


Random piece I know lol
x
chauie

Every Little Detail

You're such a lazy person
Not to mention nosey too
Must you know every little detail
Of what's happening in my life?
Must you always look into my bag
To see what is in there?
There is a line to our friendship
And you've been crossing it over the past few days
Way too many times.

I particularly don't like when
You come to me for help
And although I've already given you the answer
(Which you obviously already know)
You still tend to linger around
And invade my personal space
Just for a few minutes
But I know it's only coz you're avoiding something
Avoiding having to go back to your work
To do something the rest of us actually do - work!


...my little vent for the day...
chauie
'And maybe, i just don't wanna be like you. And maybe I just don't wanna know, How low you're ready to go' - You Don't Mean Anything, Simple Plan

January Update

I haven't really been blogging in regards to updates as of late and so I decided to do one (or two) on a monthly basis just so I can drone on and on hehe. Sure the poems are a little insight into my life but they're more cryptic versions... pieces with no names mentioned, which is the way I like them. :)

So I thought I'd have this post and possibly the next one be a little more of the detailed updates - not of the poetry kind.

First off things are really taking off for me. 2010 is the year where I wanted to apply for an internship to get my writing career kick-started and whatnot (It was one of my goals for 2010). Like I said previously, the TAFE marks that I received were awesome and I feel like they were just the thing I needed to give me that push for me to keep doing what I'm doing. Like it was a sign for me to take that next step in achieving my dream, as corny as that sounds...

Last night I went to a farewell for my best friend, a close girlfriend and another mate and instead of all the sad stories and reminiscing, we all took it as a time to catch up and quickly say what we wanted to say until the time we would see each other again.

I admit there were tears when I gave my close girlfriend a card with what I wanted to say to her. I've never been one to say words out loud, in a sense, and the affect that what was written on the card had on her was exactly what I wanted - needless to say there were a little bit of tears and a few hugs. Gonna miss you my dear and will never forget how we first met :) I know you're coming back but that'll be a while yet. xx

My best friend is leaving sooner than ever and I probably didn't get to spend as much time with her as I would have liked to but we caught up and I know she's coming back before I realise how quickly the time has passed. I swear, if she was leaving indefinitely, I probably would have cried a puddle of tears last night but she's going on a big adventure in the next few months and a well-deserved holiday at that! Love you D. xx

As if our group didn't have only a few girls already... now two more are leaving. Boo!

Okay enough of sad news... onto the good!

So like I said at the beginning, I feel like 2010 is going to be my year, career-wise that is, and the past 2-3 weeks has already proven that to me. First off, I talked to my manager about wanting to apply for an internship this year and I wanted to get her thoughts on that. My manager and I are pretty close as far as work relationships go and I'm so glad I received the approval from her to 'go for it'. She knows that I want to move on from my current role and she expects it. Actually, she expected me to move on a while ago hehe

So good news #1.

#2: This may have been a big sign but when I walked out of that meeting (with my manager), I received an email from [Melbourne magazine] Acclaim - it was one of their weekly newsletters - and the content within it was that they were looking for interns! I was a little hesitant in applying coz the internship would be in Melbourne and if I were to get it I would have to figure out a whole bunch of things - i.e flights, leave, accomodation, etc.

I talked to one of my good mates asking for advice and he said to just go for it so I thought it over myself and decided to take the advice of him and my manager and applied.

#3: Got home and received my TAFE marks for the last semester, which if you guys read my blog often, you'll know what I got. Otherwise refer to previous post - 'Results'.

#4: A few days later, I received an email from Mariam, Digital Editor for Universal Music Australia, and I totally forgot that I had randomly applied for this role and well basically her news was that she was happy to have me on as a reviewer for one of their sister sites. This gig is unpaid but in exchange I get free CDs (on a fortnightly basis) and hopefully and eventually, concert tickets. Fingers crossed!

#5: The week after, I received an email from [sub-editor of Acclaim] Alex, letting me know that whilst they couldn't offer me the internship because of the whole location thing, she suggested that I write for the site/blog instead! I was stoked! Even if the role is unpaid, for the moment, the more important thing to me is getting the experience and the exposure. Check out my pieces at www.acclaimmag.com and look out for the BY line hehe :0)

This has been my first week at writing for Acclaim and I'm loving it. At the farewell last night, I had all my friends telling me how proud they were of me! Soo happy! Ah it feels so good to be loved hehe which kind of contradicts what that fortune teller told me last weekend...

Well I'm gonna end this post right here but dont worry, my next update will be about that fortune teller haha

Enjoy the weekend!
Peace yo.
x
chauie

Far More Than Awkward

I saw you last weekend
And the feeling I had when I saw you
Was far more than awkward
I could barely look you in the eye
And in a sense I wanna apologise for it.
For my behaviour that night.
I avoided you at all costs afterwards

What we did
Was a one-time thing
That's what I wanted you to know
But I think I just needed to tell myself too
Not because the temptation was there
Cause trust me, it wasn't.

But moreso because I'm always like this
I avoid the boy in question
If I ever have to see him... again.

x
chauie
'I told myself that I would make some changes. But the more I change there's one thing that remains the same...' - Bad Habit, Destiny's Child

One Sentence

I should be the happiest girl in the world right now.
I should feel like I'm on top of the world.
On the outside I do - well my smiles are showing it.
And for the first half of the day, I was.
I was all smiles.
Boasting about my new writing opportunities for online side projects*.
My workmate said she could feel the sense that I was really excited.
Even when I was saying nothing.

Unfortunately, after lunch my brother sent me an email with one sentence.
But within that sentence was information my mother had told me earlier this morning before I walked out of the house.
I don't know why it didn't hit me sooner.
I guess seeing it written out and reading it just made it seem like it was final.
That things were set in stone.

I don't particularly know where this piece of news is going to lead us but I hope our pathway isn't heading any further downhill coz it really feels like we've hit rock bottom...

Peace.
chauie

NB: *Online side projects are two unpaid writing gigs that I've recently scored! It's finally happening yo!

'I missed all the signs, one at a time....' - Disappear, Beyonce