Breaking Point

Last week I experienced one of my most worst weeks at work.
It was stressful and tiring.
So much so, I remember that on the Wednesday, I knew I had hit my breaking point of stress when I felt tears coming on.

You must understand something - my work never stresses me out.
In the two years I've worked there, everything has become quite simple once you learn all the tasks in the team.
Nothing is seen as a challenge and I find myself bored most of the time.

But last week, maybe it dawned on me that my (best) friend had left.
Maybe it was the fact that everyone else who held the same level of skills as I (or higher) had been smart and made the first move to leave the team.
And so maybe the realisation hit me when I discovered that all that responsibility had been put on my shoulders and I just didn't know how to handle it all.

It came all at once and honestly it was all a little bit too much.
Part of it scared me.
Part of it stressed me out.
Part of it loved that my manager recognised and acknowledged my ability to take on that responsibility.

The question is, can I do it?

(Needless to say, I treated myself and went away for the weekend interstate and although the stress went away for the weekend, I came back to work Monday morning and part of me felt that that stress was still there...)

x
chauie
'I've never faced so many emotional days', - I'm Feeling You, Santana ftg The Wreckers

Frustrated

For the longest time (even though it was really only a week or so) it seemed like I was frustrated with myself because I could not find myself getting back into writing anything.
After what happened with my Aunty, it seemed as though I had lost all my inspiration and the motivation altogther.

A friend of mine messaged me to see how I was doing last week on the train and it was only then that I realised when I answered him honestly that I realised I had not been able to write a personal piece. As you can see from my updates this past weekend, that is no longer true and I'm so glad.

Maybe I just needed a break from everything. A little time to myself.
It was wierd though coz like I was telling my workmate, I don't turn to alcohol when I'm stressed - only for social occasions. I don't smoke or do drugs. Writing was (still is) my creative outlet whenever I was stressed. The familiar and comfortable feeling of holding a pen and writing in my notebook would usually set me at an ease and it upset me that I couldn't do that last week.

I'm okay now but I just wanted to give a reason for my lack of posts last week.
I'm glad I'm able to write again and haven't lost my motivation entirely to one day live up to my dream..

Peace yo.
chauie

Saying Goodbye... and Saying Hello?

Friday night, I went out with a bunch of people from work for my best friend's (from work) farewell. Me and K.S started the exact same day just over two years ago. She's not only my colleague, but over the past 24 months, she's become one of my best friends and my confidante. Always there for me when I was having a bad day - whether it was work related or personal - and vice versa.

We had a professional friendship/relationship together but outside the office - outside the normal office hours of the 9-f day-to-day routine - we had an even greater friendship. Our morning coffees every morning is something I'll definitely miss. That was the time we would go upstairs together and although the morning break only lasted ten minutes, twenty max; in that space of time we managed to catch each other up on things happening in our lives, whether they were big or small.

Shout-out to K: I love you and I'll miss you... but we'll be emailing each other indefinitely. It'll just be hard not to see your smiling face everyday, sitting only a few metres away from me :)

~

So back to the Friday night, K decided to stay behind at our local pub with her boy, and so the rest of the tipsy individuals that are my workmates decided to kick on into the city. On a last minute whim, me and my girlfriend decided to join them too.

The AM's had an outing planned to go to Strike Bowling (at least I thought it was bowling) and they invited us girls to join them. We went along and arrived late to find them in a Karaoke Room instead belting out the likes of Aqua's 'Barbie Girl' and Jet's 'Are You Gonna Be My Girl?'... (true story and no comment haha)

I didn't join in on any of the singing but decided to kick it towards the back of the room, sipping my cocktail and laughing at those who were already drunk and acting rowdy. That's what MLC is all about sometimes, isn't it? Or should I say, all the time?

I always say that in order for you to work at our office, you gotta know how to knock back more than a drink or two :) It should be a requirement when managers check your resumes.. hehe

I should mention that I got a half-kiss from someone at Strike... half-kiss meaning half on the lips, half on the cheek. Don't know if it was intentional but I know he was rather inebriated. No names mentioned here... Sorry. :P

Next stop: Bungalow 8

By now, it was pouring rain but we walked it anyway, with only one small umbrella in hand and over our heads, down the Wharf to the club. I was the only one asked for ID, which is fine coz I was the youngest one there that night hehe and even the bouncer made a comment, saying to the others, 'Do me a favour guys, (pointed to me) and don't put baby in the corner'! haha

Got introduced to a few new people and found myself saying hello and conversing with a rather cute guy. His name started with J. I'll just give you a quick rundown of it - think of it as a combination of the following and not happening in this order either: conversation, smiles, lots of alcohol, tickling, grabbing of the waist, hugging, hand-holding, and heaps of flirting.

No digits exchanged but it was fun.
Coz I felt like all eyes were on me that night which is a nice - rare, but nice - feeling...
And I'm not just talking about the boy whose name starts with J... :P

I'm outtie.
Maybe more tonight.
Off to celebrate my nephew's 1st bday :)

Enjoy the long weekend!
I unfortunately have to work tomorrow.. yay... go me.. not.

x
chauie.
'The look on your face, Anyone can see, No-one does it like me' - Can't Nobody, Kelly Rowland

Can't Stop

I haven't seen you since that last time we laid eyes on one another
But still I can't get my mind to stop thinking about you
I just can't stop my brain to lead my thoughts to you
I don't know what it is
But right now, I don't entirely mind
That my thoughts seem to be consumed of those surrounding you
Maybe it was the expression you gave me
The way I read it
The way you intended for it to be read
By me (or was it meant for someone else?)
Who knows.

I find myself looking for you sometimes
I'm not going to say where
But know that there are times when I walk through certain places and hope that I see you
Run into you..

Apart of me gets disappointed when I don't but then again maybe I shouldn't wish so hard
When you don't even know my name...
Or do you?

x
chauie
'My heart is drenched in wine, But you'll be on my mind' - Don't Know Why, Norah Jones

Crave... and Think Pink!

Today is the 1st and locally, in Sydney, it marks the launch of a new food and art festival, Crave Sydney whereby their tagline reads, 'Curb your cravings with 31 days of food, outdoor fun and art'.


(picture credit: cityofsydney.nsw.gov.au)


Doesn't that just make you wanna leave your house and wander the streets of Sydney to see what exactly this month has to offer the locals and visitors / tourists? :)

I will do my best to get out there and discover a few things but with work and study on the brain, I can't promise anything...


October also marks the month of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Don't take any offence when reading this, but make sure, ladies and gents, that you all check your breasts. Think Pink yo!

Even though my Aunt had a different kind of cancer, it's made me more aware of the different causes out there and for anything to do with cancer, I've decided to donate and support.



(picture credit: www.babble.com)

So much so that I plan to grow my hair and chop it off for charity purposes during the month of March next year. It's for the charity that bares the name of what I think is called World's Greatest Shave. And well whilst, I won't be shaving my head, I don't mind cutting it fairly short.

What do you think? Good or Bad idea? :)

Will anyone be willing to support me and donate money if I go through with it?

x
chauie