Chinese New Year: Year of the Tiger

February 14 may have been Valentine's Day for a lot of you, but for me, it marked the date of the beginning of Chinese New Year.

Not like I have a significant other, so I was completely fine with the fact that the day clashed with the Hallmark holiday. Some people in my family were less than pleased... lol

So I've decided as my (Chinese) new year's resolution to rid myself of the old and welcome the new. Now this shall/could be applied to every aspect of my life: friends, work, love.. and especially old habits.

I've decided that it's time for me to let go of the past and embrace the future. I really hope I can do it.

Plus, this year celebrated the Year of the Tiger (which I am), so I really hope 2010 is the year for me.

My mum read my Chinese horoscope for me for the next 12 months and whilst there are some good points there, there's also some sour months. The good points are directed towards my career and work but I want 2010 to bring luck to me in other elements.

Either way, the Chinese horoscope is usually on point every year for me and my family so I hope those good things do happen...

Til then, guess I just gotta take it one day at a time.
Peace yo.
chauie

The Result of Too Much Wine

So sometime last month, I was catching up with an old friend over too many glasses of wine at the hotel she was staying at and we were talking about everything from our careers to family, friends and of course the opposite sex. For some reason, that topic always gets saved for last hehe ;)

The weekend after she left and went back to her interstate home, she emailed me and confessed that at one point of the night, I had left the room to take a call or gone to the bathroom or something and so she decided to have some fun and so jumped on my Facebook and, well for those of you who have a Facebook account, you'd know that often Facebook suggests which people you should befriend because you have "mutual friends"... (How convenient that she decided to confess after she left Sydney!)

Well she added a whole bunch of random boys that she thought was cute coz she, like everyone else in my life, thinks i've been single long enough. As if Facebook is the perfect way to start LOL

Anyways... she didnt know who she added or how I could get rid of the requests... but after I got angry at her, I googled it and I sent out a mass message to all these "pending friend requests" kinda telling them about my friend, how she was under the influence and that they could ignore the request, but if they wanted to add me, then that that was fine and that I'm not a crazy lunatic hehe

So one guy added me and I randomly sent him a Facebook msg saying thanks and asked a simple question - breaking the ice so to speak - coz let's face it, I was feeling bad for not making an effort to get to know him. I didn't expect a reply back but surprisingly when I logged on today, he had replied and needless to say, a small smile appeared on my face.

Also wanna give a quick shoutout to two good friends on their engagement! Keeping my lips sealed on their names as they haven't announced it yet hehe :0)

x
chauie

The Friend Zone

She likes you
And I'm not talking about me
But even if I were to tell you
You'd think I was crazy
It's pretty obvious
By the words that she speaks
I'm sure she wants more
When she kisses your cheeks
It doesn't seem like you're doing much
When you're working together
But I'm sure you talk about lots of things
Other than the weather
I've seen the photos
I've seen the look on her face
I bet she was wishing
She was in your embrace
But you're so clueless
And she can't tell you a thing
Coz she's scared of your reaction
And doesn't wanna end up as a fling

I kinda lied earlier when I said it wasn't me
But only when I meant she's not alone, she's not the only one
And now I'm scared
To let my feelings become undone
I've had my eye on you for awhile now
But you never would have known
Coz I analyse my moves too much
For fear I'll end up in the friend zone
I haven't seen you since that last time
And I hate the feeling of not being aware
Do you like me or do you not?
To ask this question, I do not dare
Coz I am scared
Of what may become
I'll be biting my nails
Waiting for the outcome
Coz what if your answer is my worst nightmare
What will happen then?
I guess all I really wanna know is
When will be the next time that I'll see you again?
Coz it's been way too long
Since the last time we locked eyes
I wish I had answered you back
That night when you said hi
But I walked away for a second
Hoping you'd still be there when I got back
But you weren't in the place where you once were sitting
And I was left in a room that was almost pitch black

I was inspired to write in this format after watching too many Def Jam Poetry clips online - anyways I hope you like it. Sorry for the length - I was in my element :)
Peace yo!
chauie
'From the day I saw you, I really really want to catch your eye. There's something special 'bout you. I must really like you, Cause not a lotta guys are worth my time' - You Don't Know My Name, Alicia Keys

Notebook

My friends know how much I wanna be a writer.
They know how much I love to write.

So much so, that for my 23rd birthday, they bought me a hard cover notebook (along with many other great things).
I felt like it was a symbol of something that would help me begin that journey or just to have paper and pen whenever I had the inspiration or the need to write something down.

For the longest time I never wrote anything in it.
I didn't think anything was worthy of being written on those lined pages, but last night, I was reading and suddenly I had the feeling of wanting to write something.

I made my first entry in that black notebook last night and the words within that piece were so honest, so raw, so true that I don't know if I'll ever post them here on this blog or just leave them within those pages.

It was about one of my true fears in life.
Something I've never been able to speak out loud about or been able to share with anyone before.
I don't know why exactly...

I want that book to be filled with words that will someday make an impact on someone.
I don't care for the fame and fortune that everyone else seems to crave.
I just want to write words, that hopefully, someday, someone will read and it'll make them cry.
Or make them smile.
Either way, I want the words that I write to make an impact on someone else.
If I can make that happen, then nothing else really matters to me.

Peace out yo.
x
chauie
'Sometimes I can't explain, and I'm so sorry that I can't' - Wish You Were, Kate Voegele

Paranoid

Why are people so nosey?
Why are they so paranoid?

I was having a conversation with my manager about the work that we do and when I returned to my desk, I received an instant message from one of my co-workers asking if we were talking about him?

I'm the youngest in my team and I've never seen a collective of people so concerned about the ongoing conversations.
I'm 23 and 80% of my team are over the age of thirty.

I admit, my team has a few gossipers but somehow it's not alright if they hear, or think they hear, people talking about them.
Sad, isn't it?

People talk.
If they have an opinion, they'll express it.
You can't control what is spoken.
You can't choose whether it's positive or negative.

I'm over this workplace.
More now than ever!

Ah.. it's only midday. Still got five hours left to survive here. Joy.

Peace yo.
chauie
'Why are you so paranoid? Don't be so paranoid. Don't be so....Baby don't worry about it. Lady don't even think about it. You worry bout the wrong things, the wrong things' - Paranoid, Kanye West