Avoiding You

Things will never be the same
Between you and I.

I asked you for help and you replied in a way
That felt like you were critiquing me

I thought we had sorted out our differences
But I guess I was wrong
I knew your 'nice' behaviour
Wouldn't last too long

That's why I kept my guard up
And never disclosed anything personal to you.
Short answers
No open ended questions

If you've been keeping a blind eye
Well here's the latest news:
I'm avoiding you

Your response made me feel as if
I should never ask you for help again
As though I can't.

Don't you know that
someone asking you for help
is a compliment in a way?

In the sense that we're acknowledging
the amount of knowledge you have.

But if you don't wanna share that skill and information,
then feel free to be rude, selfish and bitchy
in your own pitiful world

In a venting mood,
chauie
'You put on quite a show. Really had me going. But now it's time to go, Curtain's finally closing' - Take A Bow, Rihanna

Results

I received my results for last semester earlier this week and the news had me feeling positive for the rest of the week!

The good news (and what I was hoping) is that I passed everything.
The even greater news is I received two distinctions and a credit!
Not bad for my first semester :)

I guess the late nights, the stressing and the struggles of the (dis)organisation and (mis)communication between me and the other students was all worth it.

I was telling my workmate that I've never received anything higher than a credit.
When I was still at Uni, I just crossed my fingers and hoped for a pass, rather than a fail.

The results put a stamp on the fact that I'm doing the right thing by studying for this course.
That I'm headed in the right direction.

I'm so happy!
I told my mum that night and she couldn't help but make a negative comment, but all in all, she was happy too. It's so hard to please her! :/

x
chauie

Icing On The Cake

Walking away and leaving me alone
Was the best thing you ever did
Not hugging you goodbye was the icing on the cake

Hopefully time will not pass by too quickly
Until you come back
And I have to see your face again
I want to get used to the feeling
Of not having to see you
Everywhere I go

I want to reach that level of comfort
That feeling of being able to appreciate
The feeling when you're not here
When I no longer want to reach out a hand to touch yours
The feeling where I no longer look forward to your hugs
The feeling when I see you and feel nothing.

I've felt it in the past when you really upset me
And now that you're gone
I hope to experience it again.

Please don't hurry back.

Peace,
chauie

'Shame on you, if you fool me once. Shame on me if you fool me twice' - Life Goes On, LeAnn Rimes

Not Here Right Now

The more I look at you
The uglier you appear to me
Not only on the outside
But within yourself too
I know what you're like
I know who you are now
And I no longer feel the need
To be apart of your life
To know what's going on
And what you're doing
You can tell me if you want
But that doesn't necessarily mean I'll be listening...
I can't believe you're trying to get with her
After what happened with me
It makes you appear like an idiot
After all that's happened
I can't believe you would disregard my feelings
And the consequences of your actions
Whatever
I'm glad you're not here right now.

Peace.
x
chauie

'Since there's no more you and me. It's time I let you go So I can be free and live my life how it should be. No matter how hard it is, I'll be fine without you. Yes I will' - Better In Time, Leona Lewis

Happy New Year yo!

2009 has ended and 2010 has officially started and I think it's the perfect time for all of us (me, especially) to let go of all we know so we can grow. May it be the bad or the good, we shouldn't let our past define us.

I want to re-enter this world as a twenty-three year old with a different outlook on life. I want to welcome the perspectives of others before I make major (or drastic) decisions concerning my own happiness and well-being.

But in saying that, at the end of the day I want to make a decision (whether it be good or bad, right or wrong) on my own and if it happens to be the wrong one, I want to learn from the mistake and not repeat that same (bad) decision twice.

2010 may only have started but there a couple of things that have been said and some may have started at the end of 2009 that may linger onto 2010 that have me excited for what's to come in the near future.

I want to have a more open mind in the future.

I know I can't completely change my mindset and that there will be a lot of times when I'll stay true to myself and the person I am but for the most part, I'd like to have a more open mind and give certain individuals a chance if the time and place calls for it.

Like I've mentioned in a previous post, there are handful of goals that I'd like to achieve this year. They're not necessarily my New Year's Resolution(s), but just a list of goals that I hope to achieve by 31 Dec 2010. Granted, all of them may not be achieved but I've got at least one goal for every part of my life - work, study, friends, family and me.

Some are long-term and I know personally that I will not complete some of these goals by 31 Dec but I'd like to try and get started on it if time permits me to.

Anyhow, I'll stop here for now - they'll be plenty more to write in 2010 and I'm looking forward to it! :)

May we all have a great 2010 ahead of us!
Happy New Year yo!

Thanks for reading/following/dropping by whenever you have a moment,
x
chauie