Almost everytime we talk online, I end up with tears streaming down my face.
Most of the time, I'll keep crying, long after the conversation is over.
There are so many words exchanged and messages within those words that the emotional side of me takes over.
I don't know if I love him for it or dislike him for it.
That's all.
x
chauie
'It's clear in my head, and I'm screaming for something. Knowing nothing is better than knowing it all' - On My Own, The Used
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Wierd.
I have a strange feeling in my heart.
Wierd even
And no, it's not about a boy.
It's about a girl.
And no, sorry fellas, but I'm not coming out of the closet :P
This particular girl is someone I havent spoken to for a few months now and this week we came into contact again but I wasn't exactly Miss Nice Girl as I usually am.
I was cold and I know it.
It's just strange because I wrote about her last month. Her and someone else and the stranger thing is, I forgave the other girl - something I didn't think I'd be doing for a long time - last week. I think I forgave her coz I missed her. She was there for me when something personal was bothering me and when things came tumbling down again, I wanted to call her but in a sense, thought / knew that I couldn't.
This other girl though, I don't really want to forgive her.
Not now.
I needed to let that out.
Night,
chauie
'I'm so far gone now. I been running on empty. I'm so far gone now. Do you wanna take me on?' - Lunacy Fringe, The Used
Wierd even
And no, it's not about a boy.
It's about a girl.
And no, sorry fellas, but I'm not coming out of the closet :P
This particular girl is someone I havent spoken to for a few months now and this week we came into contact again but I wasn't exactly Miss Nice Girl as I usually am.
I was cold and I know it.
It's just strange because I wrote about her last month. Her and someone else and the stranger thing is, I forgave the other girl - something I didn't think I'd be doing for a long time - last week. I think I forgave her coz I missed her. She was there for me when something personal was bothering me and when things came tumbling down again, I wanted to call her but in a sense, thought / knew that I couldn't.
This other girl though, I don't really want to forgive her.
Not now.
I needed to let that out.
Night,
chauie
'I'm so far gone now. I been running on empty. I'm so far gone now. Do you wanna take me on?' - Lunacy Fringe, The Used
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Disguise
The stresses of yesterday broke me.
I reached it.
That point.
I felt so burnt out.
Whilst waiting for my train, I wanted to break down and just cry for hours on end.
I felt the tears coming on but I held them back
It wasn't until I was watching the series return of a show and one of the characters said something along the lines of:
"I know what you're doing. You're keeping your feelings bottled up and you can't do that and one day you're just going to explode".
Those words were enough.
The tears came and kept on coming.
I felt like she was talking directly to me.
I do tend to hide my true feelings.
I still keep my guard up
I wear a disguise.
Night yo,
chauie
'Look at me, you tell me, just what you see. Am I, someone whom, you may love, or enemy. Am I speaking for, you and yours, or someone else. I need some answers. Yeah Yeah' - Mr Solo Dolo, Kid Cudi
I reached it.
That point.
I felt so burnt out.
Whilst waiting for my train, I wanted to break down and just cry for hours on end.
I felt the tears coming on but I held them back
It wasn't until I was watching the series return of a show and one of the characters said something along the lines of:
"I know what you're doing. You're keeping your feelings bottled up and you can't do that and one day you're just going to explode".
Those words were enough.
The tears came and kept on coming.
I felt like she was talking directly to me.
I do tend to hide my true feelings.
I still keep my guard up
I wear a disguise.
Night yo,
chauie
'Look at me, you tell me, just what you see. Am I, someone whom, you may love, or enemy. Am I speaking for, you and yours, or someone else. I need some answers. Yeah Yeah' - Mr Solo Dolo, Kid Cudi
Gem
This week has been a real gem... I don't know if I'm being sarcastic with that word but let's just say it's a little bit of truth and sarcasm.
Two major assessments are done and have been handed in.
Finito.
It's left my hands
The weight has been lifted.
After two nights of barely any sleep...
After days of stressing and underestimation of time..
After hours of procrastination,
I can finally breathe a sigh of relief
*phew! :)
On the other hand...
Yesterday was a real winner. *cue sarcasm now*
Got into work early to leave early only finding out when I got in that the girl I asked to stay back called in sick. What a coincidence!
So I stayed back an hour.
Left the office just after 5.
Got to the train station and the trains had broken down.
Walked 45 minutes to get to a station with working trains in 38 degree weather.
Yay...
If you havent yet noticed, this post is just a vent.
I'm out - for now.
chauie
'Close my eyes and move to the back of my head. Where worries are washed out to sea' - Yesterday's Feelings, The Used
Two major assessments are done and have been handed in.
Finito.
It's left my hands
The weight has been lifted.
After two nights of barely any sleep...
After days of stressing and underestimation of time..
After hours of procrastination,
I can finally breathe a sigh of relief
*phew! :)
On the other hand...
Yesterday was a real winner. *cue sarcasm now*
Got into work early to leave early only finding out when I got in that the girl I asked to stay back called in sick. What a coincidence!
So I stayed back an hour.
Left the office just after 5.
Got to the train station and the trains had broken down.
Walked 45 minutes to get to a station with working trains in 38 degree weather.
Yay...
If you havent yet noticed, this post is just a vent.
I'm out - for now.
chauie
'Close my eyes and move to the back of my head. Where worries are washed out to sea' - Yesterday's Feelings, The Used
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Independent (I Gotta)
Guess I gotta go back to being the girl I've always been
Independent
(my own) Woman
Making my own decisions
Not giving a shit about what other people say
I may ask for advice
But at the end of the day, it's me making that decision
That choice
What will I be deciding next?
Gotta get into that mindset:
That 'it's your loss'
I just can't help but wonder
Would it be different
If you had been the one to approach me?
I noticed you watching me
And I kinda wish it was you that approached me
But I know there are things I gotta be cautious about
Things I have yet to physically see
You looked over at me
Yet I still can't figure you out
You've got me intrigued
Can't (seem to) figure out what you're all about
Night yo.
chauie
'Who would I want if I would wanna live. I worked hard and sacrificed to get what I get. Ladies, it ain't easy being independent' - Independent Women, Destiny's Child
Independent
(my own) Woman
Making my own decisions
Not giving a shit about what other people say
I may ask for advice
But at the end of the day, it's me making that decision
That choice
What will I be deciding next?
Gotta get into that mindset:
That 'it's your loss'
I just can't help but wonder
Would it be different
If you had been the one to approach me?
I noticed you watching me
And I kinda wish it was you that approached me
But I know there are things I gotta be cautious about
Things I have yet to physically see
You looked over at me
Yet I still can't figure you out
You've got me intrigued
Can't (seem to) figure out what you're all about
Night yo.
chauie
'Who would I want if I would wanna live. I worked hard and sacrificed to get what I get. Ladies, it ain't easy being independent' - Independent Women, Destiny's Child
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)