Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Went to another magazine launch earlier tonight..
Same magazine as last time but different issue.

I showed up overdressed in a pretty top and jeans whereas everyone else was in tee shirts.
Fail Number One.

I admit part of me was hoping to see the boy who still has me intrigued by the look he once gave when I first spotted him, or rather he spotted me.
And I did see him... but only for about 5 seconds which brings in Fail Number Two.

It was a classic case of wrong place, wrong time.
This time though, our eyes didn't meet. At all. :(

As the night went on, I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest.
I felt like I couldn't tell anyone either about how I was feeling coz those who are in the know weren't there for me to gossip / retell every little step to and giggle with and those who aren't were too busy trying to pick up the opposite sex.

Whatever.

I only left the event for a moment.
Why did I choose to leave at that moment?

Til next time,
chauie
'All dressed up and nowhere to go...' - Emergency (911), Jordin Sparks

Not Right

Something doesn't feel right.

The feeling started yesterday...

I had a great day at work, productivity-wise that is. I got through way more work than my suggested "target" so I treated myself and went shopping for an hour. Picked up a great maxi dress for a bargain price and then decided to leave.

Boom!
It started raining then I hopped on the wrong train - twice!
Who does that?
Isn't once enough?
My brother came and picked me up hours later and started going off at me bringing my already shitty mood down further.
Needless to say, I didn't say much..

And I haven't said much all day today either..

At work but not wanting to be here,
chauie
'Oh, it looks like rain tonight and thank God. 'Cause a clear sky just wouldn't feel right.' - Come Round Soon, Sara Bareilles

Eibatova Karina ( Eika )

I've fallen in love.

No, not with a boy but with the work of an artist whose eye for intricate lines and attention to detail shines through her dope and whimsical drawings.


The artist in question is Russia-based Eibatova Karina (also known as Eika) and her pencil illustrations are utterly fresh. Check out her latest showcase, Life in the Alphabet, in which she explains,

"The idea of the project is to represent a letter in a natural form and appearance.
Like something alive has turned into a letter and stood still.
In some letters it's possible to find symbolism, others are just an abstract form.
In the alphabet you can find only one human - a woman in space. And one unreal creature - a dragon, also a very symbolical sign. "

Three words: Beautiful, creative and inspiring.



Peace yo,
chauie

Selfish.

Last night was an emotional night.
With family and then friends.

It was the 49th day after my aunt's death and I was there to pray for her along with some of the rest of my relatives.

"In the Mahayana Buddhism, especially, Vietnamese tradition we pray for the dead for 49 days after passing away, 49 being the estimated time it takes for the spirit to be reborn again into a new life. Some spirits are reborn 3 days, 21 days, 49 days or 100 days after death, and in some cases even 7 years."

After the prayers, one of the monks spoke a little prayer and said words that would help us to move on with our lives. Not being fluent in Vietnamese, I only stood bits and pieces but the parts I did understand, ultimately lead to tears streaming down my face [and everyone else's].

I still miss her...
...And I don't know if I'll ever stop crying for her...

~

Later that night, I went out to meet my friends for a joint birthday celebration.

I was pretty late as I had the family commitment to attend to but when I arrived, it was a good feeling that everyone was so supportive and welcoming. Hugs all around and comments that they were waiting for me to show up.

I love my friends.

As far as I'm concerned, they're the only family I need.
They don't need to know the whole story on certain issues but I know that they'll always be there for me.

In fact I want to take this moment right now to apologise to one friend in particular - K.A - sorry for my words in regards to my choices. Sorry for my selfish choice.
I've decided not to go ahead with it.
I hope you forgive me for it.

x
chauie
'I'm tired of hiding behind these lying eyes. I'm tired of this smile, that even I don't recognise' - The Good Kind, The Wreckers

Cry.

Almost everytime we talk online, I end up with tears streaming down my face.

Most of the time, I'll keep crying, long after the conversation is over.

There are so many words exchanged and messages within those words that the emotional side of me takes over.

I don't know if I love him for it or dislike him for it.

That's all.

x
chauie
'It's clear in my head, and I'm screaming for something. Knowing nothing is better than knowing it all' - On My Own, The Used