Notebook

My friends know how much I wanna be a writer.
They know how much I love to write.

So much so, that for my 23rd birthday, they bought me a hard cover notebook (along with many other great things).
I felt like it was a symbol of something that would help me begin that journey or just to have paper and pen whenever I had the inspiration or the need to write something down.

For the longest time I never wrote anything in it.
I didn't think anything was worthy of being written on those lined pages, but last night, I was reading and suddenly I had the feeling of wanting to write something.

I made my first entry in that black notebook last night and the words within that piece were so honest, so raw, so true that I don't know if I'll ever post them here on this blog or just leave them within those pages.

It was about one of my true fears in life.
Something I've never been able to speak out loud about or been able to share with anyone before.
I don't know why exactly...

I want that book to be filled with words that will someday make an impact on someone.
I don't care for the fame and fortune that everyone else seems to crave.
I just want to write words, that hopefully, someday, someone will read and it'll make them cry.
Or make them smile.
Either way, I want the words that I write to make an impact on someone else.
If I can make that happen, then nothing else really matters to me.

Peace out yo.
x
chauie
'Sometimes I can't explain, and I'm so sorry that I can't' - Wish You Were, Kate Voegele

Paranoid

Why are people so nosey?
Why are they so paranoid?

I was having a conversation with my manager about the work that we do and when I returned to my desk, I received an instant message from one of my co-workers asking if we were talking about him?

I'm the youngest in my team and I've never seen a collective of people so concerned about the ongoing conversations.
I'm 23 and 80% of my team are over the age of thirty.

I admit, my team has a few gossipers but somehow it's not alright if they hear, or think they hear, people talking about them.
Sad, isn't it?

People talk.
If they have an opinion, they'll express it.
You can't control what is spoken.
You can't choose whether it's positive or negative.

I'm over this workplace.
More now than ever!

Ah.. it's only midday. Still got five hours left to survive here. Joy.

Peace yo.
chauie
'Why are you so paranoid? Don't be so paranoid. Don't be so....Baby don't worry about it. Lady don't even think about it. You worry bout the wrong things, the wrong things' - Paranoid, Kanye West

Re-Connecting

This past week has been up and down for me. I had a feeling my good news would come to a halting stop. I knew there was a reason why I never really shared good news with anyone before, not just friends but family and workmates too.

The first 4 and a half days of the working week was great! Everything seemed to be smooth sailing and it was making me feel glad that I was still in January. I say "and a half" because the morning of Thursday was a morning filled with gossip and giggling whilst emailing a girlfriend of mine about the opposite sex. Very funny :P

But all good things must come to an end right?

Let's just say I copped a bit of critique about my work and although, I'm all well and good now after having a few days to myself, at the time I was really upset. Especially for the fact that it just kept coming, one after the other.

It was hard being at work too coz I couldn't really show what I was truly feeling. I wanted to scream! I wanted to throw my crackberry at the monitor then throw the monitor out the window. All I could do was go to the bathroom and shed a few tears there...

I know it was constructive criticism but I was happy with what I had done and when I saw who the caller was, I thought they'd be sharing in my happy news. But no. It was quite the opposite.

I felt so shitty with myself that I almost skipped the farewell dinner but the girl whom we were saying goodbye too was not at fault. It was me. So I went to dinner but left pretty soon afterwards. I only said goodbye to her and I know what everyone else was thinking.

I saw the expression on the faces and the surprise in their voices. But I'm sure they got over it five minutes later.

But on Friday, I came into work, on 4 hours of sleep, and didn't show any signs of unhappiness, anger or the like, somehow someone knew that I wasn't feeling all like myself. She asked me one question that morning that turned my whole (true) mood around.

The night before, friends had asked how work was that day, and I answered what they had asked about - work. They didn't ask about my day or how I was. They asked about work and so I kept the answer relating to work.

Later that day (Friday) though, I received a surprise email from my cousin from the States and after emailing her back and forth, she told me that she was glad that we were re-connecting again and those are the words that left me forgetting about the previous day's events. They just didn't matter anymore.

We were emailing each other all day about everything, especially future plans and I'm really excited for what's to come. She had me seeing things from a different perspective but in all honesty, when I do have a bad day, all I need is a few days of "me" time and I'll be alright.

People in my life who think they know me but don't just need to know that. It's one of the more important things about me and my personality.

Peace.
x
chauie

McFancy

Imagine Mcdonalds for the upscale high-end elite individuals of today’s society - those of whom you would gasp and stare at in shock if you saw them (or if they saw themselves) step into a fast food chain like Maccas.

Imagine walking up to the counter and ordering a Burberry (packaged) burger with a side of Hermes or Gucci fries and to top it all off, a Paul Smith sundae.

Enter McFancy - created by the Cool Hunter and Access Agency – a collaborative pop-up design project set to launch at fashion weeks around the world in 2010!

"Today’s demanding consumers expect even their beloved, favorite brands to step up their game. Many run-away online successes of offline brand “stunts” attest that consumers expect, and get really excited about, experiences that are unusual, fun, thought-provoking and emotionally engaging. With the power and immediacy of social media, surprising offline events and stunts have now turned into truly powerful promotional tools.

In 2010, TCH will launch Access Agency. It is a dedicated entity that will continue our work of creating highly original, transformational, yet eminently practical and results-oriented strategies for companies to stage the kinds of offline brand experiences that will increase the economic value of their offering.

For McDonald’s, we envision a cool, surprising and fun mix of concepts. First is McFancy, an upmarket temporary McDonald’s store that launches at Fashion Weeks around the globe — London, New York, Paris, Milan, Sydney, Hong Kong.

McFancy is part art installation, gathering spot and, of course, a restaurant that offers a traditional McDonald’s menu but packaged in a way that makes a playful yet stylish nod to the lifestyle of the highly desirable, influential consumers that attend Fashion Weeks." (The Cool Hunter, 2009)

This concept is not yet realized but is hoped to be unveiled in 2010. Question is, would you rather tuck into a good ol' Big Mac at McFancy or would you prefer to just sit and look at the pretty packaging? I'd love to do both! :)

Photos courtesy of The Cool Hunter

x
chauie

Vice

I was out with friends for a girlfriend's farewell but I left the night early, hoping to catch up on some sleep and re-collect my thoughts on the train ride home alone. Whilst I managed to do the latter, it's almost 1am and I don't feel the least bit tired.

I don't know what's wrong.
Maybe there's too many thoughts in my head
And so therefore I feel that I cannot
And will not
Be able to sleep until my thoughts are clear.

At times like these
Like the one I'm experiencing at this very moment
I wish I had a vice
Somehow release my thoughts and emotions through it
Take my stress away through a puff of smoke
Or perhaps a swig of alcohol

You may not have been yelling at me
But I could hear the judgment in your voice.
That's why I could not speak whilst we were on the phone
Hearing and knowing your reaction of my written words
Scared me for what may have come had I spoken any words.

I love how I can switch my mood
My mindset
When I walk through the door
Everyone's oblivious
And no-one notices a thing
I'm the invisible individual
No-one asks me how I am
Or notices that I've been crying for the past hour...

Whatever.
I guess I just have to remind myself that I'm the odd one out.
In every aspect of my life...

I miss her!
I wish she was here right now.
She'd know what to say...

All mixed emotions in this post. Gonna try and rest.
My mind may not be clear but my body needs sleep.

Nite yo
chauie
'In the room full of people feels like no one's around. Got your head in the clouds and your feet are off the ground', How It Feels Like To Fly, Alicia Keys