Ignorance is Bliss

So I got the idea for this post from a friend at work. (Thanks Jackie!) I was telling her about something that I noticed during the weekend that passed whilst out with some friends for a joint birthday. Actually it was the same night that sparked me to post 'Not Again..' but this post has nothing to do with that particular 'cute' subject. :)

In her last email to me, she wrote 'Ignorance is Bliss' and I haven't been able to get those words out of my head.

I have to say though, this post does link to the male species. There's always something to say about the opposite sex, isn't there? (Sorry boys!) In this case, it's about a certain boy and yes, I've made references to him in previous posts.

This 'boy', unfortunately, will always be in my life. Adding to that, he always leaves me confused but whatever. Moving on... The only control I have is how much I see him. I made a bad decision and last year things happened that left me with a broken heart.

But earlier this year, I went away with friends to Japan and as cliché as it sounds, I was able to reflect and do some soul-searching, and the best thing about it is, I think it worked!

Not having to see the 'boy' on the trip for almost four consecutive weeks definitely helped me in getting over my feelings for him. Not being able to see him was indeed a good thing. :)

When a friend (the same friend that inspired this post) was going through a bad break-up, I advised her of something along the lines of 'Ignorance is Bliss'. I am not usually one to take my own advice and I never thought that this little piece of advice would work for me but it did.

Spending that time away (bonus points that it was far far away in a foreign country!) helped me much more than I initially thought it would. For that reason, I felt that when I came back to Sydney, I chose to continue keeping that distance. Whilst everyone else made contact with the friends we left behind, I completely took steps back and didn't make any contact, except with my best friend and those few that I wanted to contact.

It wasn't until about a few weeks later when an event occurred that had the entire group coming together and that's when I saw him. Seeing him again, I thought I might break. Tears. Run away. React.

But surprisingly (to me, at least) I was unaffected. It was definitely a great feeling. :)

Going back to a more recent event (like Saturday night) - by the way, the above was a bit of reminiscing for me - that same 'boy' had just gotten back from a trip himself. To be honest, we don't really talk to each other the way we used to due to last year's unfortunate (or is that fortunate?) events. I'm not sure if the rest of our crew is oblivous to this fact or maybe they are aware and just choose to ignore / avoid the topic. Just a thought...

Anyways, dinner was fine. We weren't at the same table so that was okay. It wasn't until we got to the club when I noticed his behaviour..

Let's just say, it was definitely questionable.

Certain things he did as the night went on had me wanting to turn to him and say:

'It's too late.'

Or better yet:

'You had your chance with me, but you chose her. I'm over you and I'm not taking any steps backwards into your arms. You're just... too late. Move on. Coz I have. I'm doing fine without you and if I never see you again, I think I'd be okay with that.'

To those who don't know me and are reading this, you might think it's harsh but I'm just being honest.

I may never be able to say it to his face but at least you know how I feel on paper (in writing).

I'm out.

Peace yo.
chauie
"Boy, I'm sick and tired of trying to read your mind" - Impossible, Christina Aguilera