A Thousand Thoughts

So I know I said I was going to post pieces that I'd written whilst on a trip away with my crew last weekend but last night, I went to a farewell and there were moments during the night where I would just sit there, look around at everyone conversing and say nothing.

Saying nothing but thinking a thousand thoughts.

There have been many times in my life, moreso within the past year or two, where I've wondered why I'm here.

Common said it right when he narrates on Kid Cudi's track 'In My Dreams (Cudder Anthem)', stating 'Long before we know ourselves, Our paths are already set in stone. Some may never figure out their purpose in life, And some will.'

That's what I want to know. A good friend of mine, where we've only recently became close after he came back from an overseas trip, told me that when he talked to me, he felt like I was looking for answers.

And he was right on point.
I am looking for answers.
One in particular: What is my purpose in life?

There are days when I sit amongst my friends (like last night) and feel like I don't belong.
There are times when I'm surrounded by people and still feel all alone.

It can be pretty fucked up to feel this way.

I always thought that these particular thoughts would be something I'd always keep to myself, close to my heart. At the very least, write them on the back of a postcard and send them to PostSecret (aka the best creative idea ever!) but knowing me, I would write too much and run out of space on the tiny bit of blank space.

But I'm turning twenty-three in twelve days and for me, I feel, it's the age where I need to finally let my guards down and be honest. Moreso with myself than anyone else.

And what better way to do so than here on this blog. These are, after all, my thoughts.
But I hope, like I've previously mentioned when I started this blog, that people accept my thoughts for what they are - my opinions, my experiences. Some things you can be symapthetic towards but most times, I just want to figure it out on my own. I mean, isn't that what life is all about? Experiencing things and learning from the wrong and remembering the right?

But that doesn't necessarily mean that I won't accept your shoulder, your hand, or a hug if you offer it to me.

Peace and love yo.
x
chauie
'Baby how I dream of being free since my birth, Cursed but the demons I confronted would disperse. Have you ever heard of some shit so real? Beyond from the heart, from the soul you can feel. - The Prayer, Kid Cudi

Apologies

Hi yo

So I've been away for the past few days on a real mad hectic trip with my 13itches crew and then some so haven't been able to post but that didn't stop me from writing so expect for some to be coming your way over the next couple of days :)

At work at the moment so gotta get back to it.

Peace.
chauie

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Went to another magazine launch earlier tonight..
Same magazine as last time but different issue.

I showed up overdressed in a pretty top and jeans whereas everyone else was in tee shirts.
Fail Number One.

I admit part of me was hoping to see the boy who still has me intrigued by the look he once gave when I first spotted him, or rather he spotted me.
And I did see him... but only for about 5 seconds which brings in Fail Number Two.

It was a classic case of wrong place, wrong time.
This time though, our eyes didn't meet. At all. :(

As the night went on, I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest.
I felt like I couldn't tell anyone either about how I was feeling coz those who are in the know weren't there for me to gossip / retell every little step to and giggle with and those who aren't were too busy trying to pick up the opposite sex.

Whatever.

I only left the event for a moment.
Why did I choose to leave at that moment?

Til next time,
chauie
'All dressed up and nowhere to go...' - Emergency (911), Jordin Sparks

Not Right

Something doesn't feel right.

The feeling started yesterday...

I had a great day at work, productivity-wise that is. I got through way more work than my suggested "target" so I treated myself and went shopping for an hour. Picked up a great maxi dress for a bargain price and then decided to leave.

Boom!
It started raining then I hopped on the wrong train - twice!
Who does that?
Isn't once enough?
My brother came and picked me up hours later and started going off at me bringing my already shitty mood down further.
Needless to say, I didn't say much..

And I haven't said much all day today either..

At work but not wanting to be here,
chauie
'Oh, it looks like rain tonight and thank God. 'Cause a clear sky just wouldn't feel right.' - Come Round Soon, Sara Bareilles

Eibatova Karina ( Eika )

I've fallen in love.

No, not with a boy but with the work of an artist whose eye for intricate lines and attention to detail shines through her dope and whimsical drawings.


The artist in question is Russia-based Eibatova Karina (also known as Eika) and her pencil illustrations are utterly fresh. Check out her latest showcase, Life in the Alphabet, in which she explains,

"The idea of the project is to represent a letter in a natural form and appearance.
Like something alive has turned into a letter and stood still.
In some letters it's possible to find symbolism, others are just an abstract form.
In the alphabet you can find only one human - a woman in space. And one unreal creature - a dragon, also a very symbolical sign. "

Three words: Beautiful, creative and inspiring.



Peace yo,
chauie