A Night Out with the Girls..

So on the eve of this long weekend, where I should be doing more work than socialising, there was a girls night that was organised. I went to work confident that it was going to be a good day and night. And though I got the day part right, it was the night that let me down.

First off, the weather just added to my spirits. It was way too cold for any of us to be out but because it was the opening ceremony night of the soccer, we figured that the boys would be too busy watching it, that we HAD to take advantage of the rare night.

Surprise surprise, they came by anyway. Just at the very moment, we were gonna leave so that I could say hi and have a drink with a new 'friend'. You all know what I mean, I don't need to expand on that one.

Oh well. There's a little bit of regret in me for not going anyway when he first asked. When the challenge arised (just the one drink) and my best friend said to "go!" Although, I don't think she really realised what she was saying "go!" to... not at that specific moment.

Though the night was "wicked", no-one was completely plastered like we all planned to be.

Til next time ladies, when the other girls can join us for a proper night out.

Not motivated to do anything right now. In other news, I'm having second thoughts about my current studies. The place. Not the actual course. I shouldn't have been so impulsive!
x
chauie

He Looked Back

Last week, a guy who I once took a chance on came by my boss' desk to have a chat about a project she was helping him on. My desk is right next to hers and when it was time to leave, I saw him, out the corner of my eye... look back at me.

I wish he hadn't. I even slouched down in my seat purposely to avoid eye contact with him, but he still looked back. Ugh.

I hope this doesn't mean that he still has feelings for me. It happened so long ago... two years if my memory serves me right.

I gave him a chance and he screwed it up. Lying to his friends about the things we'd done. It was ONE drink and even that was torture. We had nothing in common.

All he could think to talk to me about was work - BORING!

And yet after that one drink, somehow he "fell in love" with me.

Someone pass me a bucket. NOW.  

Looking forward to the long weekend with a girls night tomorrow night to kick things off! :)

x
chauie

Adopted.

Sometimes I wish I was adopted.
My brother just straight out threatened me
All I did was make a smart comment but he didn't need to say what he said.
Twice

I'm always smart with him but we laugh it off.
This time it was... Scary.
He thinks he's so much better than everyone else because he's the breadwinner in our family

Honestly, who gives a fuck.

This is bullshit.

I really want to move out now.
Before, I wanted to quit my job because someone at work was pissing me off
Now I want to quit my job and live overseas and just never come back.

There's a new plan in line now:
Finish my degree, work my ass off to save a heap of cash and just move overseas.
Forget the family
Forget Sydney.
Just leave and go.

I'm out.
Too upset to write anymore although this is usually the best time for me to get my words out but tonight, I'm just going to lay in bed and cry a little while...
x
chauie
'It's all about the he says she says bullshit. I think you better quit, letting shit slip' - Break Stuff, Limp Bizkit

Fun and Dangerous

Last night I stayed back for Friday night work drinks.
The weather was horrible - stormy, cold and depressing - so no-one wanted to go outside and across the street to our local pub. So instead of all us being kicked out of our building at 6pm when the event officially ended, the ten of us that were left at the end, stayed, and didn't end up actually walking out of the building until almost eleven. Whoops.. hehe

I know this post may be contradictory to how I felt earlier this week but it was Friday and it was work drinks. The people who stayed were not the usual crowd and plus the beauty of it was that we didn't talk about work. We talked about everything but. And I wasn't with anyone from my team except for my boss whom is a totally different person after a few beers plus she left at around 9 after getting in trouble from her other half.

Being single, I'm glad that I wasn't getting any phone calls or texts from some guy asking me where I was. The plus side also was that the cute guy in my building was also there and when we proceeded downstairs to another level to continue our far-from-sober antics during the night, let's just say we both couldnt stop flirting with each other!

I don't know if anything will happen and I don't mind if it doesn't coz flirting can be pretty fun when it's reciprocated ;)

I'm kind of looking forward to Monday but not... hehe

It was a much-needed night (to have a drink or a few) after my rough week at work.
Very fun but perhaps dangerous...

I'm out.
Babysitting my nephew for the afternoon.
x
chauie

Do What Makes You Happy, Right?

Well guess what? I'm not happy.

I went to work today with a good attitude. I was ready to take on the day's challenges... sorta - I wasn't in a GREAT mood. lol
Anyways, I logged in and one thing after another started to go wrong.
With no sleep from the night before and my friend of the week visiting, I was on an all emotional high.
I don't know what happened.
One minute I was fine. The next minute, I found myself running to the bathroom and sitting in one of the stalls for half an hour crying my eyes out.

Dani called me after a text I sent and it really helped me calm down.
She pointed out all the right and wrong things happening in my life and I thank her for it.
After we hung up, I realised something:
I'm NOT HAPPY.

Every aspect of my life is good right now. Except for work.
I think this goes beyond the problem I previously had in the office.
My heart's just not in it anymore.
I used to enjoy going to work. Now I dread it.
I've been there for almost three years (crazy, I know!) ... geez that realisation just makes me more depressed.
The only thing really keeping me there is probably the money.
As shit as the job is, it's a full time job with a steady income.
If I leave, I will still keep in contact with the people that I care about.
Only the people I care about.
The others aren't worth my time.

My boss was in a meeting at the time I broke down (a good and bad thing) but I sent her an email before I left for home. Dani told me to lie and tell her I was sick and whilst it was a good idea at the time, I've always been honest with my boss so I told her the truth - in as little amount of words as possible because I just wanted to run out of that building.

My boss knows how I feel. How I've felt for the past year or so about working here.
It sucks but it's the truth.
I know she's gonna be hurt when she reads that email but sometimes I feel like it hurts me more to be working here.

Anyways, I'm outtie. Gotta finish this assessment due at midnight. Halfway there!
One red bull and too many dark chocolate tim tams consumed already but I'll let you know if I made the deadline.

x
Chauie
'One foot outside the door, I hear a funny hesitation of a heart that's never really sure. Can't keep on tryin' if you're looking for more, Than all that I could give you than what you came here for' - Almost Doesn't Count, Brandy