Do What Makes You Happy, Right?

Well guess what? I'm not happy.

I went to work today with a good attitude. I was ready to take on the day's challenges... sorta - I wasn't in a GREAT mood. lol
Anyways, I logged in and one thing after another started to go wrong.
With no sleep from the night before and my friend of the week visiting, I was on an all emotional high.
I don't know what happened.
One minute I was fine. The next minute, I found myself running to the bathroom and sitting in one of the stalls for half an hour crying my eyes out.

Dani called me after a text I sent and it really helped me calm down.
She pointed out all the right and wrong things happening in my life and I thank her for it.
After we hung up, I realised something:
I'm NOT HAPPY.

Every aspect of my life is good right now. Except for work.
I think this goes beyond the problem I previously had in the office.
My heart's just not in it anymore.
I used to enjoy going to work. Now I dread it.
I've been there for almost three years (crazy, I know!) ... geez that realisation just makes me more depressed.
The only thing really keeping me there is probably the money.
As shit as the job is, it's a full time job with a steady income.
If I leave, I will still keep in contact with the people that I care about.
Only the people I care about.
The others aren't worth my time.

My boss was in a meeting at the time I broke down (a good and bad thing) but I sent her an email before I left for home. Dani told me to lie and tell her I was sick and whilst it was a good idea at the time, I've always been honest with my boss so I told her the truth - in as little amount of words as possible because I just wanted to run out of that building.

My boss knows how I feel. How I've felt for the past year or so about working here.
It sucks but it's the truth.
I know she's gonna be hurt when she reads that email but sometimes I feel like it hurts me more to be working here.

Anyways, I'm outtie. Gotta finish this assessment due at midnight. Halfway there!
One red bull and too many dark chocolate tim tams consumed already but I'll let you know if I made the deadline.

x
Chauie
'One foot outside the door, I hear a funny hesitation of a heart that's never really sure. Can't keep on tryin' if you're looking for more, Than all that I could give you than what you came here for' - Almost Doesn't Count, Brandy