This post is going to be ... exactly what the title reads, so forgive me if you are confused by the end of it all. Just imagine living through it.
My mind has been mixed of thoughts, emotions, feelings, words and moods - particularly within the past month. April wasn't exactly a great month for me.
Usually ending with this topic, I'm gonna flip it and start off with it, because surprisingly, I don't have much to say on them this time around so here we go:
I was recently seeing someone but it turned sour when I realised we both wanted different things. It sucks coz I was really starting to like him too.. Oh well.
The worst part is, I turned to alcohol afterwards and I realised that wallowing when alcohol is involved is a very, very bad idea. :(
Needless to say, I haven't drank very much since that night.
As for anyone else? No thanks. At least not for a little while longer. I will admit though that going on dates had my heart beating a lil' faster than usual and I really enjoyed those moments... But those moments are over now.
Family
Arguments. Arguments. Arguments.
Every few days, there's a screaming match going on it seems in my household.
It's literally a war of words.
Because of this, my brothers and I want to move out.
I, for one, can't afford it at the moment but one brother is looking to work overseas and the other is going to open houses and auctions every weekend hoping to purchase a piece of property.
All of this just to avoid the words conversed between one another. Words conversed in negative tones.
Other than that, my nephew keeps a smile on my face each time I see him :)
Life
Work
The office in North Sydney is the same as it was since I had that all important review with my Manager, but it seems like within those last few weeks, no action has really been taken even though I've voiced my feelings over several weeks many times.
I was talking to my close friend/sometimes therapist the other night and we both discussed the option of going to someone in a higher position.
Don't get me wrong, my manager is cool and she's been really supportive with my past problems, but it doesn't seem like she's followed through with this latest problem which is kinda bad in my opinion, or really bad coz it's THIS problem that may lead me to quitting this job sooner than we both realize...
Once the new issue was out though - with my name mentioned as an intern (woot woot!) - I emailed my editor and I told her my thoughts on it and she came back and gave me what I needed to hear - her appreciation of my work thus far on the blog. And as a token of appreciation, she said she'd be sending me a present. Score!
Don't worry, I will be posting a photo of that present right here on this blog when I receive it :)
thirteen itches
It seems like everything is progressing at the moment. Volume II is coming out (realistically) at the end of this month and we're already thinking up ideas for Volume III. I'm kinda excited. I know I haven't put much of an input into the project as much I'd like to lately but I know the guys understand and that's all I really need to know right now.
Managed to go to a meeting last night without feeling guilty (coz I had no class) and though it was a very very short meeting, it was still good to be there and get involved.
I wanted that approval. Kind of almost needed it in a sense - in high-school, especially. And even though I was with those 'friends' for a good 6 years or more, I never felt loved by one entire group. At the time, it seemed 'love' was just a word you threw around.
Now I don't really care and I'm actually fine with letting a friendship go. (Much like my previous post)
The guys and girls I'm hanging out and kickin' with now really know me (even thought it's been far less than six years). They know who I am. They know what I want in life. They know what I aspire to be and they're willing to help and support me til I get there.
They accept me.
Through all the tears, attitudes or whatever, everyone makes the effort to work it out with one another in order to keep the friendship tight.
Now isn't that what it's supposed to be all about? (Cue: Aaawwww!!!) :P
'Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now' - Airplanes Pt 2, B.O.B ftg Hayley Williams and Eminem
My brother said it perfectly the other night and I've never actually thought about it like that before but it's like I'm working 4 jobs - the office, class, Acclaim and thirteen itches. Maybe that's why I've been so tired. Every weekend, all I wanna do is SLEEP. Do nothing but sit at home and be a couch potato... (much like I'm doing right now on my day off).
No chores. No assignments. Nothing.
Kind of a bad thing but after all the things I've had on my plate lately, there's not much I wanna do... or have time for. Work
The office in North Sydney is the same as it was since I had that all important review with my Manager, but it seems like within those last few weeks, no action has really been taken even though I've voiced my feelings over several weeks many times.
I was talking to my close friend/sometimes therapist the other night and we both discussed the option of going to someone in a higher position.
Don't get me wrong, my manager is cool and she's been really supportive with my past problems, but it doesn't seem like she's followed through with this latest problem which is kinda bad in my opinion, or really bad coz it's THIS problem that may lead me to quitting this job sooner than we both realize...
Acclaim
Things have been a little slow the past few weeks - only coz the Melbourne team were working towards getting their latest issue out which is fine. I still sent over my 2-3 weekly blogs but didn't hear all that much feedback/assignments from my editor. Once the new issue was out though - with my name mentioned as an intern (woot woot!) - I emailed my editor and I told her my thoughts on it and she came back and gave me what I needed to hear - her appreciation of my work thus far on the blog. And as a token of appreciation, she said she'd be sending me a present. Score!
Don't worry, I will be posting a photo of that present right here on this blog when I receive it :)
thirteen itches
It seems like everything is progressing at the moment. Volume II is coming out (realistically) at the end of this month and we're already thinking up ideas for Volume III. I'm kinda excited. I know I haven't put much of an input into the project as much I'd like to lately but I know the guys understand and that's all I really need to know right now.
Managed to go to a meeting last night without feeling guilty (coz I had no class) and though it was a very very short meeting, it was still good to be there and get involved.
Friends
This was a big realisation that I had last month of which the thought came to me when I realised that my current group of friends are so much better than any other group of friends I've ever had. Before I met these particular individuals - each and every one of them - I was a social butterfly. I had little groups of friends everywhere. I was the girl that wanted to be liked by everyone basically. I wanted that approval. Kind of almost needed it in a sense - in high-school, especially. And even though I was with those 'friends' for a good 6 years or more, I never felt loved by one entire group. At the time, it seemed 'love' was just a word you threw around.
Now I don't really care and I'm actually fine with letting a friendship go. (Much like my previous post)
The guys and girls I'm hanging out and kickin' with now really know me (even thought it's been far less than six years). They know who I am. They know what I want in life. They know what I aspire to be and they're willing to help and support me til I get there.
They accept me.
Through all the tears, attitudes or whatever, everyone makes the effort to work it out with one another in order to keep the friendship tight.
Now isn't that what it's supposed to be all about? (Cue: Aaawwww!!!) :P
x
chauie'Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now' - Airplanes Pt 2, B.O.B ftg Hayley Williams and Eminem
No comments:
Post a Comment